A family walks into a talent agency. It's a father, mother, son, daughter and dog. The father says to the talent agent, "We have a really amazing act. You should represent us." The agent says, "Sorry, I don't represent family acts. They're a little too cute." The mother says, "Sir, if you just see our act, we know you would want to represent us." The agent says, "OK. OK. I'll take a look." The father begins by juggling some balls. The mother pulls out her harmonica and begins playing "Dixie". The children and dog try and get the dog to jump through a hoop. For the longest time, the agent just sits in silence. Finally, he manages, "That's a hell of an act. What do you call it?" And the father says, "The Aristocrats!"

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Do you know what's sad about 4 black men driving off a cliff in a convertible? They were my friends.

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punchline below punchline above

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because he is concerned about his fitness and decided to walk to work instead of drive.

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If Abraham Lincoln were alive today, he'd be really really old.

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What did the confused blonde girl ask to a nearby student? Why is there a man painted green throwing forks at me

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What's brown and sticky? ...A stick.

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Q: what do you call a guy with no arms and no legs floating in the ocean? A: A very unfortunate individual.

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Why are Jewish men circumcised? Because it is the norm with that particular religious group to circumcise male infants shortly after birth.

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awkies when jamie and jacob hook up, and u have to tell the dog..i maen danni that this has been going on for 2 months

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So God answered a paralyzed boy's prayer the other day...He said 'No'

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How many Woman does it take to change a lightbulb? none they had a back up lamp

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Three men are sitting in a tub. One of them says "Toss me the soap." The second one says "Toss me the shampoo." The third one says "Toss me the toaster."

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What did the rug say to the floor? I got you covered

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knock knock who's there? the police, we have a warrant for your arrest.

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?Three men walk in to a bar. one walks with a limp. The other two make fun of him and joke of his inability to walk as well as others around him.

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What do you call a 5 year old with no friends? A sandy hook survivor

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Roses are red, violets are red. Aaaaaahh! My garden's on fire!

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Why did the koala fall out of the tree? Because it was dead. Why did the second koala fall out of the tree? Because it was stapled to the first koala. Why did the third koala fall out of the tree? He thought it was a game.

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Hey I just banged you, and it was crazy, delete my number, and keep the baby.

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A man violently rapes a small child. Unfortunately the child has aids and gives them to the man.

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The guy told a funny joke. Why wasn't the other guy laughing? Because he was having a heart attack

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If woman that have big breasts work at Hooters, then do woman with one leg work at Ihop?

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What's brown and smells like shit? Shit.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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