Wumbo

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I'm gonna put my nut-sack on your drum set

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Knock Knock Who's there? Sargeant John Smith mam. I regret to inform you that your husband died in the line of fire - I'm sorry.

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What do snowmen eat for lunch? Snowmen don't eat, they're inanimate balls of of solid precipitation with rocks for smiles and eyes and carrots for noses.

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whats red and smells like blue paint? Hank Kovalcik

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Knock Knock Who's there? 9/11 9/11 Who? You said you'd never forget.

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Why does an Irish cop wear a belt? To hold up his pants.

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I used to be an Adventurer like you... But then I decided that it was a dangerous form of employment and stopped.

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A guy sitting at a bar was getting really impatient for his drink, so when the bartender asked if everything was fine, he yelled, "No, it's not! Where the f*** is my drink?!" The bartender replied, "I'm not sure what you're asking, 'cause I don't know what letters the asterisks are replacing."

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Jesus walks into a hotel, slams four nails down on the counter, and says, "Put me up for the night!" The concierge looks at him and says, "You're not Jesus. Jesus was brutally murdered approximately 1,970 years ago. And although I may not be a believer, his teachings have brought comfort and solace to millions of people around the world. Nor do we accept nails as payment. Please remove yourself from the premises or I will call security."

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Knock Knock Who's there? me oh

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What do you call a black man without a job? Unemployed.

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An English man a Scotts man and an Irish man buy a helicopter between them,they go to pick it up after paying for it and realise that non of them can fly it. so they get a refund and go to the pub.

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Do you know what's fun about having sex with twenty-seven year-olds? There are twenty of them.

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Why did the kitten die? Because your mom is gay.

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What do you call a black man and woman with a little white girl? A Family.

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Knock knock. Who's there? Awkward silence Awkward silence who? ...

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Jesus can walk on water. Babies are 75% water. I can walk on babies. I am... In jail.

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Have you heard of Helen Keller's dog? No. Neither has she

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Why couldn't Hellen Keller drive? Because she was a woman.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I got a terminal disease and I'm going to die in six months. Mom if you're reading this I love you. Take good care of Joey.

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Why did Michael Jackson ask a Best Buy clerk for the best 3D TV? He didn't ... He's dead.

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Why didn't the man enter the bus driven by a black man ? It wasn't going where the man had to go.

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Inquiry: After the specially hired detective in shades of black had managed to finish his secret investigation of the crime scene, what significant affair did he demand and expect to subsequently occur next in the logical chain of events? Answer: A specific transaction of money. To elaborate, immediate providance of previously allotted recompense in the particular configuration of myriad pristine wads of cash.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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