What do you get when you cross a pelican with a mountain goat? It's hard to say.

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What can be any colour and is made of leather? Cars. I lied about the leather part.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue. I'm a schizophrenic, And so am I.

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Why did the kitten die? Because your mom is gay.

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How fast is the speed of sex? 70 mph, minimum 40 mph

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How do you make a man sit down? Hold him at gunpoint.

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Orange Orange Orange Orange Orange Orange Orange Orange Orange Orange. Aren't You Glad I Didn't Say Cliterus?

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Jesus can walk on water. Babies are 75% water. I can walk on babies. I am... In jail.

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Why was the chicken mad? Because he was sick of everyone questioning him even when he crossed the road.

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What would be funny? Seeing justin beiber 's penis.

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Why did the window break? I threw a pig out it.

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Why did the police stopped the black driver? Because one of his car's lights was busted.

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Why did the monkey fall out the tree? Because he was dead.

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What's green and has 4 wheels? Grass, I lied about the wheels.

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you.

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A duck walks into a bar. The bartender-"Hey we don't serve your kind here!" The duck-"What ducks?" The bartender -"No Jewish"

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what did the little girl do after drinking a smoothie? she choked and died a painful death.

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Why did the Chicken cross the road? Actually it couldn't even walk because of all the hormones they injected into it in order to genetically enhance it's size and flavor.

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Your mama is so fat she is morbid obese.

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what is not funny? This joke.

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whats red and smells like blue paint? Hank Kovalcik

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Why? Because racecar.

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What's the worst part about male roller blading? AIDS.

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How much does a polar bear weigh? Around a thousand pounds.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops