What's green and has wheels? A cucumber with wheels.

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A guy sitting at a bar was getting really impatient for his drink, so when the bartender asked if everything was fine, he yelled, "No, it's not! Where the f*** is my drink?!" The bartender replied, "I'm not sure what you're asking, 'cause I don't know what letters the asterisks are replacing."

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Why did the chicken cross the road? there were no more cars in the way

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How much does a polar bear weigh? Around a thousand pounds.

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knock knock. who's there pismil pismil who pigsmil cookies

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what did the Spanish priest say to the Ukranian gynocologist? *fart*

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So there were two palm trees on an island. The first palm tree says to the second, "Hey! What's up?" The second one replies, "Nothing much, just chilling." Except they were actually ice cubes.

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Thomas Hobbes had a good life Actually he was born prematurely which caused his mother to die, and his alcohallic father left him at a young age to an abusive older brother sucks to suck Hobbes, at least you were smart

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What do you call a group of black men jumping off a building? Chocolate Rain

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What's that smell? Your feces droping in the toilet

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How do you make a man sit down? Hold him at gunpoint.

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lebron

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whats worse than losing your pet rock? having your dog run over buy a car.

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Q. Did you hear about the kid napping? A. Yeah, he woke up and was grumpy

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Knock knock. Who's there? You know. You know who? "Call him Voldemort.... Fear of a name increases fear of the thing itself."

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What's brown and sticky? a stick.

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My wife's star sign was cancer and it's quite ironic how she died really... She was attacked by a giant crab.

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2 ducks walk into a bar. The first orders a drink, drinks it, and drops dead. The other duck said, "Bar tender! What did you put in my friends drink?" The bar tender said, "Poison."

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I need somebody to lean on... ...Because one of my legs was amputated after I was blown up on a mine field in afganistan.

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Whats worse than contracting H.I.V.? nothing

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knock knock who's there ? dogs dogs who? phone

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What did the small baby faucet say to the daddy faucet? Nothing, they are inanimate objects and cannot talk.

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Q: what is more sad than being alone A: being alone with lots of cats

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What happens when you turn back time? You get "emit."

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops