a black man did not eat chicken.

Hey girl, do you have a mirror in your pocket? Because I dropped one and I can't find it.

how do you kill a baby? introduce it to alice cooper

Why do birds suddenly appear? Because they can fly

A brachiosaurus walks into a cafe "Excuse me I'm an herbivore, can I have a full English breakfast, but with veggie sausages instead of normal sausages, and mushrooms instead of bacon?" Shop keeper: "No you can't. Your too big. You've destroyed my kitchen, and my livelihood. I have nothing left. You've accidently reduced my business to rubble by walking through the door"

What do you call an argument between a Jew and a German? World War 2

Jolly Rancher the particle beam is in the alpha quadrant and we are good to go.Please confirm receipt of this communique. Cell Leader Iqbal

Why did the chicken cross the road? It felt like it, no particular reason. Why did the hippo cross the road? Same reason as the chicken. Why did the Fred cross the road? He was with animal control, and a chicken and hippo had just been reported to cross this dangerous stretch of highway.

Q: What's green and goes round and round and round? A: A baby on a blender

Why did the ceiling fall down? Because there weren't any walls.

what is the difference between batman and a black guy. bat man is white

What's the difference between Justin Beiber and a horrible singer? Nothing.

I can count to potato.

What's the difference between Harry Potter and a Jew? Harry made it out of the chambers...

One day a mexican guy came up with a great anti-joke about jewish guys. Upon sharing it with a canadian buddy of his, he collapsed and died from a cerebral hemorrhage where he was then hit by a bus and mauled to bits by a pack of saber-tooth tigers.

What did one wall say to the other? Nothing. Walls can't talk.

How do you make someone sad? Tell them they have cancer

how do women get from the kitchen to the bedroom? they walk there.

A farmer accidentally trips his wife. She falls down the stairs and the farmer is quickly arrested for murder.

What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

Q.what is worse than finding a worm in your apple? A.finding two worms.

what has wheels and drives? a boat i lied about the wheels

Keanu Reaves

Q: What did Mr. Spoke say when Captain Kirk was raping him? A: "Ouch! Ouch! Captain, this is so illogical!"

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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