What did one umbrella say to the other umbrella? Nothing, umbrellas cannot instigate a conversation, because they cannot talk.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Q- Why? A- Why not?

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Why did Santa's little helper feel depressed? Neurotransmitters essential for happiness, such as serotonin and norepinephrine, were in rather low supply in the poor elf's brain.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a loaf of bread.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

a blond, a brunette, and a redhead are stuck on top of a mountain. they freeze to death and the rescue team discovers their frozen bodies two days later.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Ben: Something smells like updog. Jenny: What's updog? Ben: Nothin' much

thumb_up thumb_down -16

"Knock Knock" "Who's There" "The Police" "The Police Who" "Ma'am your son just died in a car accident"

thumb_up thumb_down -16

What's worse than biting into an apple with a worm in it? Getting brutally raped by a giant transvestite donkey witch.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Hey look, I found a fire hydrant!

thumb_up thumb_down -16

What did a pornstar say when she heard hard banging from the front door? Come inside.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

what is worse than falling off a bridge? .. getting pushed off a bridge

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Why is a duck? Because one leg is both the same.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

why did the man take the bus to work he didnt have a liscence

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Why was the man hanging from a tree? He got the Death Penalty

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Q: what do u call a plane that flies A: a plane

thumb_up thumb_down -16

What did Tom get for Christmas? Gloves, but Tom had no arms.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

how do you finish a 30000 piece puzzle you search for cheat codes

thumb_up thumb_down -16

What would you do for a klondike bar? I'm allergic to milk.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Yo mommas so fat that when people look at her they say things like "shes bigger than me"

thumb_up thumb_down -16

A black man, a Asian, and a Jew fell into a pit and because of a lack of water they all died.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Q: What's full of different butts and smells bad? A: An ashtray.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Whats bigger than a tuba? the universe.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

Ask your friend: Will you remember me in a week? Will you remember me in a month? Will you remember me in a year? Knock Knock. Who's there? How did you forget me already?!?

thumb_up thumb_down -18

Why did the circus clown lose his balance? He had a seizure while on his unicycle, fell off, and bumped his head, leading to significant blunt trauma in the brain. Weeks later, after waking up from a coma, the doctors discover that he can no longer speak anything other than gibberish. His friends and family decide that he cannot go on living this way and decide to pull the plug.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops