Excuse me, I have a shitload of stuff to do, so you are Eliza huh? I thought that was just one person conveying something to someone. Anyway, what is your name? My name is actually Nero, but you do not strike me as an Eliza, first name is more than enough. You know, if you dare, Ill be back shortly, I was gonna shower but then again, I haven't moved at all today, so yeah. Saved you? I have never saved anyone well, excuse me then, see you around, worry less about people bothering with us chatting, hell they might risk learning something (not a chance, people here are fucking jackasses, with one exception, and I do not mean me this time).

What did the disabled kid do on friday? He fell down a flight of stairs.

Knock knock. Who's there? Banana Your parents must have little regard for your social identity because they named you after a tropical fruit. Either that or you are clinically insane. I am concerned; please leave.

Your mommas so fat she jumped into the ocean and immediately had to start swimming.

do you like hardcore music? ya i love brokencyde

Where would a 65 year old man find a young, attractive woman who would take any interest in him? Very likely in a hospital, but that would be a professional interest, not a sexual one.

What did the man say to his doctor?

"knock knock?" ITS 2012 WE HAVE DOOR BELLS!!!

What's funnier than diarrhoea? Cancer What's funnier than cancer? The holocaust

Why do mexicans like tacos? Because tacos are a very well liked food and they happen to taste good

What is better than a 50-inch wide plasma flat screen TV? A 51-inch wide plasma flat screen TV.

Q: why did the prisoner drop his soap? A: easy sex

Vagina jokes aren't funny, period.

A dyslexic man gets asked what 1+1 is, he replies with a wopping 11. Grats <3

If an ice cream van goes out of business, who drove the Jeep into the furniture store? To get to the other side.

Why were there only 5,000 Mexicans at the Battle of Alamo? They only had 1250 trucks.

One man said to another, "Hey, can you hear that?" "No." He replied.

"Knock knock." "Who's there?" "Chuck Norris." "Chuck Norris who?" "NOBODY SAYS 'CHUCK NORRIS WHO'!!!"

George Zimmerman walks into a bar .

Where are the first Cannibals in the Bible? A. 2 Corinthians 8:1

why did the girl cry because she was raped

Two muffins are in an oven. They don't speak to each other because muffins do not have the ability to make speech. After being in the oven for several minutes at 375 degrees, they are removed, left to cool, and were eaten. They were good.

What's funnier than my jokes? your face.

A bear walks into a bar..... The bartender asks " what do you want?" , he gets killed by the bear because he started talking to it Made by eli

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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