What is pink, red and silver and crawls into walls? A baby with forks in it's eyes

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What did one dog say to the other dog? Nobody knows as humans are unable to understand the way dogs communicate.

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I like to thumb up my own jokes.

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What do you call a muslim flying a plane? A pilot

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what do blondes and rocks have in common? they are both material and have extension.

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What do you get when you mix a dog and a fish? A hot fillet.

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A man is in a bar with a drink A lorry driver come in a gulp the guys drink down The man starts crying the lorry driver says"don't cry I will buy you another" The guy says "it's not that: Today I woke up late for work and when I finally got there my boss fired me so I get in my car to go home and it wont start so I walk home while it's raining and when I got in I found that my wife was sleeping with the gardener so I came down here and asked for some poison and you went and drank it"

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Whats the same about a Mole and an Eagle? They both live underground, I lied about the Eagle.

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Q. Why did the man get an email? A. Because he checked his inbox.

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Q: Why are all black people fast? A: Because the slow ones are in jail.

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What's yellow and shark infested? Shark infested banana pudding.

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Rebecca Black walks into a bar and asks for a beer. The bartender doesnt serve her because she is 12.

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A guy finds a lamp in the desert and rubs it 3 times.. No genie appears because there is no such thing as Magic.

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Q: What is the scariest thing ever? A: Child Birth.

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what's the difference between dodo and doodoo doodoo is still around for you to see

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Why did the girl fall off the swing? Because I hit her with an axe.

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LA Police, Christine Collins called. She wants her son back.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I have alzheimers Who the hell are you?

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Women's rights...

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What happens when a building has a 13th floor ? You realize this isn't a del building and fall down 13 flights.

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Why did the person have a scrape on their elbow? Because they fell down.

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A guy walks into a restaurant and sits down only to realize he is not wearing any pants. Immediately the police are called and arrest the man for indecent exposure. Given there were children in the restaurant at the time, the man is also charged as level 3 sex offender and is held on $100,000 bail. His family receives the news and become the talk of the town. His wife commits suicide from embarrassment, leaving her 10 year old son up for adoption who later gets involved with drugs due to his rough childhood.

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Why did Madona rub shit on her vagina? Because she was horny.

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snooki

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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