What did the cracker say to the cheese? You're so cheesy.

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Just happy you are back Nero, I have no idea what a proxy is but I am at my mum`s place, is everything alright between us now?

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead. Why did the chipmunk fall out of the tree? Because it was stapled to the monkey.

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How do all Asians look? With their eyes.

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A woman is in a terrible car crash. The husband comes in, runs to the doctor and he says "Doctor! My wife...is she going to make it?" The doctor turns and says "your wife will survive, but she's experienced heavy brain trauma. She will never walk again. You'll have to bathe her, feed her, change her diapers, and cater to her every need." The husband starts crying and says "oh my God that's terrible! Are you serious?" The doctor replies "Yes."

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I know where you live. No seriously im looking at you through your window. 80% of you just checked. 90% of you didnt realize i just ended that statement with a question mark. 100% of you just checked gotcha

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Why was little Timmy afraid of his dentist? Because he was 10 foot scorpion.

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Q: Why did the boy fall of the swing? A: He had no arms.

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You know you are really drunk if your blood alcohol Is higher than .08

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Why is my penis so small? No, seriously, can anyone tell me?

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What do you call someone that blows up a plane? Nothing you were on that plane

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how did the kenyan get away from the cup He didnt he got arrested

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Why did John break down in tears? Because he was molested as a child.

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What did George Washington say before he crossed the Delaware? "Get in the boat."

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Q. What's the difference between a duck? A. An orange.

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Q: Why is Alzheimer not funny? A: To get to the other side.

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Why did the plane crash? The pilot lost control of the plane.

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How do you stop a clown from laughing? Hit him in the face with an ax.

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A duck walks into a bar *************************** Later that day the homeless man had duck for dinner.

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what do you call a dog with not legs? it doesn't matter what you call it, its not coming

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What's funnier than a dead baby? Almost everything. Infant mortality rates are incrediby high in many third world countries, and it is certainly no laughing matter.

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Whats worse than finding an worm in your apple? 1942 BERLIN

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Why didnt the teenager have a smartphone? He didnt live close to a cell phone store

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A catholic priest gets a nun pregnant. He drowns the baby several months later.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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