A man walks into a bar, sits down and talks to the woman sitting next to him. The woman took out a cigarette, and offered one to the man. The man said yes, even though he never smoked before, because he was trying to get with the woman. They smoked a few more before the woman left, and the man left shortly after. The man became a chain smoker and died 1 year later from lung cancer caused by smoking multiple packs a day.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because you simply have a chicken joke WITHOUT it crossing the road

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Two men walk in to a bar. The first man says "I'll have some H20" The second man says "I'll have some H20, too." They both received glasses of water.

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What do you call an asian pilot? A pilot you racist bastard

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What does greg and Ian have in common?

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what do you call a boomerang that doesn't come back? a stick

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What do you do when you see a black man with half a head? Stop laughing and reload

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What do you call a kid without any friends? A Sandy Hook survivor

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Why did the man take off his pants A: because they were uncomfortable to sit in

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Face down, ass up. Thats the way I like to sleep

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A muslim paints Mohammed

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What did the pregnant teen get for Christmas? A miscarriage

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what do you do with a fat little chug...kick em in the guts

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Why did Sara fell off her swing? She has no arms. Knock Knock Who's there? Not Sara

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"Free to play" Play free "right now" "Free forever"

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Roses are red, violets are blue, I'm not good at rhyming turd

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Why did the Chicken cross the road? 9/11

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What did the blackman say to the whiteman???? Nothing! They both commintted suicide

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do you know whats worse than a bad joke on antijoke.com the holocaust.

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Q:How do you kill a blonde? A:The same way you kill everyone else.

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What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

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Why are plants green? Plants are green due to the chloroplast organelles found in their cells. These membrane bound organelles are exclusive to plant cells and are used to convert sun light to usable chemical energy. This energy is stored in the form of ATP molecules, or adenosine triphosphate. When one of the three phosphate groups of an ATP molecule is removed, the molecule releases the energy put into this bond and becomes ADP, or adenosine diphosphate. Throughout this process, the organelle fulfills its sole function and at the same time gives plants their green color our eyes perceive today.

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If a blonde and a feather were dropped off of a building at the same time, which would hit the ground first? A feather is a light object and would most likely float all the way down at a slow velocity, the blonde is most likely 100+ pounds and would die because she is stupid.

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If i was a painting... Id hang myself

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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