Why did nobody bother to help the old lady cross the road? Because her actions in recent years had given rise to considerable division and ill-feeling within the community.

Why can't Helen Keller drive? Because having no sense of hearing or vision she is completely incapable of operating any sort of machinery.

Three men went out for a night on the town, one had too much to drink and was forced to take a cab home.

jordan godfrey is good looking lolololol

Intel Core Computers answer robot flavored phones at middle of june CC

Why scooby-doo likes cookies? Because he's chub!

How do you confuse a conspiracy theorist? Tell them the government is not real.

Q. What has two legs and is covered in red stuff? A. Half a dog

What's even funnier than 24? A clown in a tree.

what does a baby sound like in a microwave. i don't know i was masturbating

What is Arnold Schwarzenegger's favorite lollipop? Choppa Chups.

Why was the 13 year old drug addict crying? Because somebody shot him in the foot

Why doesn't Michael Jackson sleep with boys anymore? -Because he is dead.

Roses are red my underwear is brown I just sharted my pants

Ever see a man say goodbye to a shoe? Yes, once.

- What do you call a black pirate? + A Nig-ARRRRRRRRRR - No, a pirate you fucking racist

how did hitler lure the jews onto trains to concentration camps? he told them he hid a penny in one of the cars

I've never seen your mother, so I won't make any vile suggestions concerning her weight.

alex is cool

A girl asks her mother, "Mummy, why am i called Rose?" "Because when you were 1 day old a rose petal landed on your head." Another girl asked her mother, "Mummy, why am i called Daisy?" "Because when you were 1 day old a daisy landed on your head" "alualualualalughghphphpphphp" "Shut up fridge"

Why couldn't the dead man take a shit? He was severely constipated

Why did the gay guy come out of the closet? He finally found the shirt he was looking for

Three men walked into a bar. None were injured because they were all wearing hard hats as is the procedure for a construction site.

Q: What's red, pink and spins round and round? A: A baby in a blender Q2: What's red, pink, green, and smells bad? A2: The same baby 2 weeks later

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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