Cheetahs run at an alarmingly fast rate for short periods of time. Until I shoot them with harpoons.

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What happens after Madeline McCann disappears. Jokes.

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So a platypus walks into a bar. He orders a drink and then goes home drunk. His wife doesn't approve of his drinking, so she took her children then left. The lonely platypus wandered around for days on end in the lonely silence. He realized he wanted a job, but he couldn't get one, and i lied. it wasnt a platypus. it never even haooened i wasted your time.

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What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

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What's green, [ THIS BIG ] and flies around the room... A remote controlled gherkin!

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I'm on the seafood diet. A large proportion of my daily food intake is fish.

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What to you call a heavy person, Someone overweight

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Human race: Let's play hide and seek! BOEING MH370: K faggotz :P

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Ask me if I'm God.. Dude, we all know you're not God.

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why did Helen Keller cross the road? she didn't, she wasn't able to find it

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Why did the boy fall off the swing? Because he had no arms. Why'd he fall off again? Because we put him back on.

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koala's try to hit on teddy bears...... desperate even though we know extinction's comin

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old man: hi old woman: i have alshemiers old man: hi old woman: i have alshemiers

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Why did the car slow down? Becuase the driver pressed the break

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What do you call a sleeping bull? Don't call him anything and back away slowly.

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edmond alward. handyman services. call 0858430803.

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A man dies on the operating table and finds himself in front of the Pearly Gates. St Peter looks at him and says " You are having a hallucination due to all the drugs they have given you and because your brain releases chemicals when you die. I am not real and there is not heaven or a god." Upon resuscitation the man contemplates his hallucination and becomes an Atheist.

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What do you call a black guy that has a big white coat, an assortment of knives and a couple of women working for him? A doctor

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What's the difference between a raccoon and a bear? One's a raccoon, the other's a bear.

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What did Batman say to Robin before getting into the Batmobile? Get in the Batmobile

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Why was little Timmy so fast? Because he's tied up in the trunk of a speeding car.

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Homeless man....it's what's for dinner!

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why did the man get a divorce? Because his wife had an affair.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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