What happens if you jump on barbed wire, but break your fall? You hurt your arm as well.

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what has hair and can fly? a human.. i lied about the flying.

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When life gives you lemons you have lemons.

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Why was Timmy sad? While helping his dad hang Christmas light, he got tangled up in them and fell down. While falling he grabbed a wire, which caused a spark. This spark lit the house on fire. Since he broke most of the bones in his body from falling he could not run away. The house proceeded to collapse an poor Timmy seriously injuring and hideously disfiguring him. By the time the ambulance got there, Timmy was the only survivor for his parents died of smoke inhalation. Since he had no other living relatives he was forced to live in an orphanage for the rest of his childhood. That is why Timmy is sad.

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How do you make an apple puff? Put the apple in a large pan with some water. Cover and cook gently for 20-25 minutes until soft. Add sugar and nutmeg to taste. Transfer to a bowl and leave to cool. Cover with pastry and bake until well-risen and golden.

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What's the best part of twenty one year old's? Their bodies have matured enough that the U.S. government deems it safe for them to consume alcoholic beverages with proper I.D.

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What did the hand say to the face? Nothing because body parts cannot speak.

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Q. Why are most jews unemployed? A. They all got fired.

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Hey I just met you and this is crazy, but Im on bath salts, and you're face looks tasty;)

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What's the difference between a blonde and a brunette? A) The color of their hair.

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A wife says to her husband "Everybody's coming over tonight, I want you to dress nice." *logically this cannot happen because there is no way that this couples residence can fit all 6 or so billion people in the world, nor would they want to.

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if dragonflies have purple toe nails, then how many pancakes does it take to build a doghouse? canada, because snakes don't have armpits!

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My brother and I laugh at how competitive we used to be. But I laugh harder

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What does the name Joe mean? Joe Mama! Egit

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Why couldn't the little girl see in the dark? She had no eyes.

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What do a duck and a bike have in common? They both have handlebars, except for the duck.

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A man walks into a bar. He bumps his head on the iron and has headaches for a week.

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carn ehney bodie hellp mie with mine smellings?

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What is a haiku? Are they hard to come up with? Obviously not.

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Stephen Hawking walks into a bar and the bartender says, " OH MY GOD! YOU CAN WALK?!?!"

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what did the ox say to his son when he left for collage? bison

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Irish sobriety

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Why did the clown want a new bike? Don't ask me, clowns are allowed to want things too

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Why did the black dude die? Because everyone must die at some point.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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