KNOCK KNOCK WHOSE THERE? AVOCADO AVOCADO WHO AVOCADO COLD THAT'S A RETARD JOKE HAHAHAHAHA GOOD 1

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Its a long story, I got two balance nerves, I technically got four ear drums (relax you cant see it nor anything,neither can doctors without weird unpleasant stuff), I got about twice the number of synapses as regular people, and well, that makes me pretty damn good at some things, and a total retard at others.

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What did the Mexican parents name their first born son? Nobody knows. He was adopted by a nice family due to the fact that his biological parents were murdered in cold blood. His foster parents named him Kevin.

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Lets just say that we are beyond the stage where I am "just" trying, by the way, you might want to search that last comment for double negatives. Or you know NOT NOT. Do not take my word for it, but if I am not wrong, the bacteria (yogurt) leaves afterwards, so you are eating milk that has been eaten and then.. You know... A common "side effect" of hypnosis, is that when it is used, the one hypnotized (both in this case) end up feeling a "strange" case of closeness, stronger bonds, friendship etc, scientists wonder why... ITS LIKE DUH! WE BOTH REVEAL DEEP SECRETS TO EACH OTHER! THINGS WE DO NOT EVEN USUALLY TELL OURSELVES! Its a literal no brainer, scientits can go fuck themselves, because as far as I know, thats the only fuck they ever get.

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Hey, I want to because you are really sweet and deserve it, and damn you are hot, but thats secondary in your case, in every case actually, otherwise I would just be doing it with meat whose soul and thoughts I hate/dislike/detest/etc, and that is not who I am. Once huh? I mean I said night/day/shower/breakfast table... Not so sure I can last for that long with a girl as hot and sweet as you for that long. Kidding, hey, best friend huh? Wow, I mean that`s really sweet, and you are really a special friend to me, but uh, to be honest, best friend? I barely know you... I hate this part of myself, I am blunt with that honesty thing, I may just have insulted you, but you know, I also need to be able to live with myself If I am going to enjoy life.

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Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? Obamacare

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Q: What has the exact same colors as the gay flag but are sometimes hilarious? A: Clowns.

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Robert Muldoon: "Clever girl..." Velociraptor: "I appreciate your compliment, but I will still eat your face."

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whats funnier then a children's hospital..... it catching on fire.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I want to have sex But no one else wants to

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I began as a dreamer, then I became a visionary, then I saw my dream come true, until it shattered us all. Do you believe that perhaps, there are people out there, trying to stop the world from reaching a better age?

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There were 3 women, a blonde, a brunette, and a redhead. They were driving with a gorilla when suddenly the car crashed. All the women died but only the gorilla survived. The police investigated with the gorilla and did some simple sign language. The police, using hand motions, asked the gorilla what each individual female was doing before the car crashed. The gorilla ran away for reasons unknown.

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a blonde and a brunet are in an elevator. a man walks in the brunet says to the blonde "he has dandruff, he needs head and shoulders.' then the blonde says "we can give him head, but how can we give him shoulders."

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Why are anti jokes so funny? Because they are not

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What is the definition of “making love”? Something a woman does while a guy is f-ing her.

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What did the limp dick say to the vagina? Sorry, I'm a poof.

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GAWS SI EKOJITNA

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what did the little boy say to his mom? nothing his mother died in childbirth.

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I agree to the terms and conditions

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How do you save Africa. Put a rash of bacon in and envelope.

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Why are elephants big, grey, and wrinkly? Because if they were small, round, and white, they would be called 'asprin'.

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a man walked into a bar.the bar was metal and he cracked his skull

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A German, an Irishman, a Mexican and a Texan are flying together on an airplane over the ocean. When the plane begins to experience engine trouble, they find that there is only one parachute for the four of them! Through an amazing display of flying skill, however, the pilot is able to complete the flight and land safely.

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Why did the tight shirted Asian man spend all his time on his knees? Because when he was 12 he was forced to work in a textile factory where he lost his lower legs.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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