Why did the boy fall of the swing? Because he had no arms!

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A Catholic priest has the choice between spending an hour with a young girl or a young boy. Which does he choose? Neither because that's illegal and completely immoral for a priest.

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Knock, knock. Who's There? The Fire Department...

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Boys go to college to get more knowledge, girls go to Jupiter... Actually I lied, girls go to the kitchen

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Q:What the difference between a piano and a guitar A: Nothing, there both instruments and i lied about the difference

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Steve Jobs is alive In our Hearts <3

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Two guys walk into a bar. The third one ducks.

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I may have Alzheimer's. But at least I don't have Alzheimer's.

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So a train conductor is going at 70 mph to to a destination 50 miles away. He goes over 3 hills, one at 20 mph, the other 42 mph, and the last at 63 mph. he crosses 2 bridges at 47 mph each. What did the train conductors mom eat for dinner that night Nothing she had cancer and died.

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Yo mamma so black that u can't see her eyebrows

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You might be a redneck if you hate your father and you live in a trailer

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A princess kisses a frog to transform it into a prince.. She is soon arrested for committing bestiality

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Why is the average lifespan of Black men in the U.S. only about 52? Hundreds of years of oppression and a lack of nutritional, liberal, and vocational education have put them in a position where gathering the resources necessary to live a healthy and safe life are greatly is incredibly difficult.

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why did the firefighter let the fire burn... becuase of inattentivieness. he will soon be fired.

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whats worse than bitting into ur apple and finding a worm? bitting into ur apple an finding out u have just murded noddy and his family who were making a nice little home in there

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Why did the 16 year old black kid drop out of high school? He started a successful small business selling mixtapes.

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One day in Africa there was a family of Americans touring an African village. They were a happily married couple with a four year old son. This day however was a very sad day because a group of elephants came trampling through the village. The couple left there kids inside and went to help control the elephants. however the elephants killed them all with their feet. Now the little boy wandered outside because after all he was just a little boy. He was about to be killed when a baby elephant calmed down his mom, so he saved his life. The baby elephant then took the little boy back to the airport by which the married couple came because elephants are very smart. The boy didnt want to leave his new found friend the baby elephant but the little boy was then sent back and lived with his Uncle. When he was older, he had a child of his own, a little boy. One day he decided to take his son to a circus, that was from Africa. He didnt realize there would be elephants there. This day the elephants got spooked by a mice and started to stomp all around. Then the man realized his son was missing. He looked down to find his son about to be stomped on by this old elephant. Just as the elephant was about to stomp he and the man made eye contact. The man thought noticed the look in that elephants eyes, like he reconized them. He thought mabye, just mabye it was the same elephant he was saved by. Turns out it wasn't and the elephant killed his son.

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How do you cure aids? Jonathon siezed to care as he proceeded to cry when he was told his lemons were over the weight of what he'd expected

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A man is in a bar with a drink A lorry driver come in a gulp the guys drink down The man starts crying the lorry driver says"don't cry I will buy you another" The guy says "it's not that: Today I woke up late for work and when I finally got there my boss fired me so I get in my car to go home and it wont start so I walk home while it's raining and when I got in I found that my wife was sleeping with the gardener so I came down here and asked for some poison and you went and drank it"

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Coach: Hey, you missed the team meeting today, but I wanted to let you know we've had a number of changes to the lineup. Player: Really? Who's on first? Coach: That's right. A man with the unlikely name of Mr. Who is on first. We also have Mr. What on second, and Mr. I Don't Know is on third. The rest of the team is the same. Player: Oh. People have weird names now. But I'm sure they're great guys. Thanks for explaining that. Coach: Any time. Don't mention it.

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why did the fish get flushed down the drain? because it was dead

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JOSH BROWN STOP ADDING PEOPLES NAMES TO THE END OF YOUR TRUE STORIES!

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How is a hamster like a cigarette? They are harmless until you stick them in your mouth and light them on fire

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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