How many republicans does it take to change a lightbulb? CHANGE?????

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"Smithers, I'm home!" "What, already?" "Yes."

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A black man has just died on your porch. What do you do? Immediately call for medical assistance and perform CPR.

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what did the tree say when it fell down? Nothing it is humanly impossible for a tree to talk. Especially after it fell down. I mean that would hurt.

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What is worse than a bee sting? 2 bee stings. What's worse than 2 bee stings? Being eaten by a giant octopus. What's worse than being eaten by a giant octopus? 3 Bee Stings!

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What happened to the blonde who blew out her birthday candles? Her hair caught on fire

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Q. What's white and lives in a tree? A. A fridge.

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DON'T LOOK A GIFT HORSE IN THE MOUTH BECAUSE HORSES HAVE BAD BREATH

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What did the boy with cancer get for Christmas? A Coffin.

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What do you call a black man stealing your tv? A thief

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please thumbs this up to help rhinos with boners thank you

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KEVIN CRUMMY SMELLS LIKE SARAHS (I)

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wanna here a joke? you.

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding a tape worm in your apple.

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a man walks into a bar and it hurts

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hey timmy, wanna go to Disneyworld?! tough. *10 seconds later* still no timmy

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Why was the Tortous and the Hare written? So fat people will feel good about themselves.

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There's 2 black guys in a car. Who's driving. Probably one of the 2 men.

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Strength of body Vs Strengh of Mind. Mind: You can lead a horse to water... Strength: Then you can force that mother*bleep* to drink all you want that *bleep* to drink! Strength of body wins, horseless victory.

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I can be considerate if like someone is burning to death and I was the one considerate enough to lit them on fire... Wait no, I am considerate towards my friends (which are all ladies, all men besides me are obstacles and nothing else) AAAAND my logic processor broke down. Anyway, please do me the honors, take the last message.

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What's brown and rhymes with snoop ? Dr Dre.

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A pilot walks into a bar just before his last flight of the day. "Give me a stiff one to get through this last flight, I've had a long day," the pilot tells the bartender. The bartender promptly refuses the pilot service and kicks him out of the bar, since operating an aircraft under the influences of alcohol would at least constitute gross negligence and at worst, murder.

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Two men walk into a bar. They get drunk and leave. 2 hours later there's a newscast about two drunken men who died in a car accident. It wasn't them, the newscast about them came shortly after

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A plane carrying an Englishman, an Irishman, and a Scotsman is destined to crash unless some weight is lost. First they drop the spare engine, but there is still too much weight. Then they drop the luggage, but still there is too much weight. All three men then jump out. The plane crashes anyway.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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