whats worse than a baby in a bathtub? its dead. Whats worse than that? its in a clown suit. Whats worse than that? The baby had down syndrome.

thumb_up thumb_down +27

A man walks into a coffee shop and buys a bookshelf.

thumb_up thumb_down +27

Row, row, row your... Canoe.

thumb_up thumb_down +27

What's green, long, and covered in forks? Grass. I lied about the forks.

thumb_up thumb_down +27

What is Helen Keller's favorite color? Velcro

thumb_up thumb_down +27

What's brown and sticky? Molasses.

thumb_up thumb_down +27

Knock Knock. Who's there *gun shot*

thumb_up thumb_down +27

What did Batman's mother say when it was time for dinner? Nothing, Batman's parents are dead.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

Elephants can jump higher than the tallest building. You know why? It's because buildings can't jump.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

why has kallum just changed clothes to speak to a counsellor because he's socially awkward and has no peers

thumb_up thumb_down +25

Where did Susie go during the bombing? Everywhere

thumb_up thumb_down +25

Beating cancer. Guess Steve Jobs they didn't make an app for that.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

Q: Who wants a chick with big breasts? A: Everyone apparently, because chickens are being genetically engineered that way because people are racist about what part of the chicken then want to eat. The white meat or the dark meat. Guess what? Now they can't walk because they are top heavy. And who's fault is that? The people who only eat the white meat.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

Timmy needed to use the restroom in class, so he raised his hand and asked, "Can I go use the restroom?". The teacher said " I don't know, CAN you?" Timmy said, "When I was using "can" I was using its secondary model form as a verbal modifier asking for permission, as opposed to expressing an ability. I thought since you were a teacher you'd know that. My bad. MAY I use the restroom?"

thumb_up thumb_down +25

What can be said about a high school drop out who is 30, lives with his mom, and plays WoW all day? He is probably a very high level mage

thumb_up thumb_down +25

What's brown and sticky? A stick.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

I haven't left my basement in 29 years

thumb_up thumb_down +25

If you give a mouse a cookie... ...you're destroying its natural diet. It might die.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

You know what makes me smile? Face muscles.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

How many shots do you have to take to start feeling light-headed? Ask JFK.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

How many pancakes does it take to make a dog house? None because alligators don't fly.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

What did the homeless man get for christmas eve? Hypothermia. What did the children get for christmas day? A traumatic experience when they tripped over his snow-covered corpse.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

A blonde, a brunette, and a red head walk into a bar. You think they should have ducked?

thumb_up thumb_down +23

In Soviet Russia my freedoms are severally restricted by communism.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops