Three men are facing a firing squad. They are all promptly executed. Even if they were to escape by distracting the executioners, they would no doubt be shot down before they could get for.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

How many dead babies does it take to fill up a car? Dead babies should be reported to the police and not be stuffed into cars.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Rebecca Black just died, she walked into a stadium and was overwhelmed by the amount of seating choices.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Nerve endings. Now, lets say we make that sensation of a finger down there vibrate, as your nose (not not your lower parts no no) become twenty times as sensitive, now you are just rubbing your nose right? Try not rubbing it completely off now...

thumb_up thumb_down -9

What did the black guy say to the other black guy? We are both black

thumb_up thumb_down -9

What squirts out of your butt and runs down your leg? Bloody diarrhea.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

What did the boy dog say to the girl dog? Ruff

thumb_up thumb_down -9

What happened to to dyslexic giraffe that tripped over a brick. It got back up.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Roses are red, violets are blue, i get tired of this shit let's have some grey goose

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Women's rights...

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Q. What do you say when a baby gets hit by a car? A. Lol fail

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Kids, your mother and I thought we should tell you this now... You know our dog sparky? Well he... was actually Osama bin Laden and is now dead!

thumb_up thumb_down -9

go F*** yourself

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Why was six afraid of seven? Back when seven was in Vietnam, he sufferd Posttraumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD) and constantly has flash backs and irrational thoughts of six being with the veitnamese alliance and tries to viciously molest six whenever he runs out of anxiety medication.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Roses are flowers.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

How many fingers am i holding up? none, my hand got blown off in Vietnam

thumb_up thumb_down -11

I see London, I see France... I see a Map.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Whats long, hard, and makes a girl excited? A penis.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Pants and God shorts: God: Jews ur my people nao! Jews: Yay we are Gods chosen people! Riches and gRape awaits us! World domination next! God: Well, not quite what I meant but, err... Close enough? Jews: YAY! Moral: So much for "the chosen ones" :(

thumb_up thumb_down -11

What is worse than a dead baby nailed to a tree? Obama

thumb_up thumb_down -11

What did the blonde say to the brunette? I just ate a chicken panini.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

An African american man fell out of a boat at sea. He swam back to the boat.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

There are two types of people in the world: 1. people who can extrapolate from incomplete data And I have two wonderful pieces of advice: 1. Never tell anyone everything you know

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Who paved the road? The fat guy with the steam roller

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops