How do you get a one-armed Polak out of a tree? Get a ladder and carry him down.

Why can't Jay cut his hair? Because he has AIDS

Why did the fireman wear suspenders? To keep his pants up.

How did the cat die? I just it nine times

Your mama's so fat, she gets confused with Santa Claus.

Why did the vegetarian only work one day? Because her co-workers are cannibals.

Why do people discriminate against black people? Because they show an undeserving amount of disrespect towards the rest of the world and why should they get anything better than what they offer.

Why did the boy cry? Because he was mercilessly beaten by his mother.

Stephen Hawking walks into a bar.

The Holocaust

lebron

A blonde, a brunette, and a redhead are running from the police. The brunette and the redhead escape, but the blonde is captured. Why? Because she had a prosthetic leg sustained from a previous injury, and thus couldn't run very fast.

Chuck Norris can watch TV.

What did the girl get for her birthday? Nothing...cause she died

What's the difference between a prostitute and a cherry red Ferrari? A cherry red Ferrari isn't in my garage.

Religion

Why'd the cat have one eye? It got kicked by a goat.

Knock, knock. Who's there? John. Oh, hey! Come in.

What happened to the blonde that died her hair brown? Her hair turned brown.

Why did the deaf man go to the concert? He had recently acquired a brand new hearing aid which meant that he was able to hear much better and decided that he wanted to listen to some music.

What do you call a pig with no arms? A pig, pigs don't have arms

How did the fat man die? Someone who was mad at society shot him and many others in the head while at the workplace.

Wumbo

what did the little girl do after drinking a smoothie? she choked and died a painful death.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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