Why didn't Tommy walk to school? 'Cause he was in a wheelchair..

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A priest and a bunch of boys are in a room. They are having choir practice.

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What did the peach say to the apple? Nothing. Peaches can't talk.

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Why couldn't Hellen Keller drive? Because she was a woman.

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roses are grey, violets are grey, i'm colourblind and shit at poetry

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What's brown and sticky? a stick.

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A crazy priest squats down and poops in the middle of the church... nobody understood what was going so they pointed and laughed.

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Are you from Tennessee? cuz i wanna makeout with your face.

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you momas so fat, you momas so ugly Your mother's breasts sag with such severity that the late great Salvador Dali mistook them for cloth.

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What do you call cheese that's not yours? Someone else's cheese.

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The night is always darkest just before the dawn. Just kidding I'm Helen Keller, everything's always dark.

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What do you call a black person who drives a plane? A pilot.

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Cancer victim: What kind of doctor are you? Person 2: I'm not a doctor. In fact, I'm a suicide bomber and am planning to initiate the detonation sequence right now. Cancer victim: Well, it doesn't really matter. No matter who shows up, I'll still die anyways. This way, I'll be able to pay a visit to the transcendent city high in the heavens sooner. Person 2: I bet that many would mourn your death at your remembrance ceremony. Cancer victim: That doesn't bother me. My friends and family are close to my heart, but that doesn't warrant eternal proximity with one another in itself. Person 2: Let's go to a better place. Let us finally break free of our mortal chains that have unceasingly been hindering our progress since the first war took place. Cancer victim: Wait, I've changed my mind! Person 2: Too late. I wish I had a time machine... not.

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How many republicans does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Typically only one, though more may be required under extreme conditions.

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Knock Knock Who's there? me oh

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Jesus

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Why did the boy cry? Because he was mercilessly beaten by his mother.

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There are 3 type of people in the world. People who can count, and people who can't.

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What is the difference between muffins and cornbread? I don't enjoy sticking cornbread in my anus.

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Whats worse than falling down the stairs? Falling UP the stairs.

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There is a running race, both black and white people are running in this race! Half way through there is an avalanche and every black person running was killed! Who won the race??? Society... :D

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What did the girl get for her birthday? Nothing...cause she died

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What did the nurse say to the doctor? Boo-hoo, i was pranked over the phone, i'm gonna kill myself now.

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What did Helen Keller say to the priest? Nothing, she didn't know he was there.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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