How do you occupy a blonde for hours ? Give her a long list of stuff to do.

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what's funnier than 1 Mecican? 2 Mexicans

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You walk in to your room. 7 chickens on your bed.

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The big problem with politicians is they're always lying but fortunately there's always a moment when it's not a problem anymore. When they do it down in their tombs.

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Q: What do you call an aligator in a vest A: Investigator

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What's the difference between an orange? Mooses don't like to wear sweater-vests.

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a jew throwing a dime into a wishing well.

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Wat do you do when you see aomeone bleeding on the ground? Walk away and act like nothing happened

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What is the most attractive part of a woman's body? The part where she doesn't have a penis. I know, I know, the no-penis thing looks weird and strange, but hear me out. I think it's kind of cute and quirky. Like, oops, there's something that's supposed to be there, but isn't.

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Q. Did you hear about the kid napping? A. Yeah, he woke up and was grumpy

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What do you call a dead blond in a closet? A homicide victim.

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Why did the old woman put roller skates on her rocking chair? She had dementia.

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What do you call cheese that isn't yours? Cheese.

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Two cannibals are eating around a fire in the jungle, and one turns to the other and says "Does this taste funny to you?" Oh yeah, and they're eating a clown.

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Whats worse than contracting H.I.V.? nothing

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Why don't Polish girls swim in the sea? The only sea that Poland borders on is the Baltic. Throughout most of the year this sea is too cold to comfortably swim in.

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What do you call an animal who is purple and feeds on grass? Well his name is Timmy, he is a 6 year old boy and has been diagnosed with a rare deadly disease that turns his skin purple and has removed him so far from reality that he has begin to feed on his front lawn.

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knock! knock! who's there? mom mom who? your mom... your girlfriend just died in a car accident while carrying you baby...

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A duck walks into a bar. The bartender-"Hey we don't serve your kind here!" The duck-"What ducks?" The bartender -"No Jewish"

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What is worse than finding a dead mouse in your loaf of bread? A lot of things since you were able to sue the bread company for tens of thousands of dollars.

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The white guy did it!

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What is black, white and red all over? A nun in a blender

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The pope and three young boys get into a cab. The pope tells the driver to take the boys home.

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what do giraffes have that other animals don't have? -baby giraffes

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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