A black, a muslim, and a communist walk into a bar, the bartender says "what will it be Mr. President?

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What did the black man do with the woman's purse? Safely returned it to her

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What's the difference between a white man and a black man? Nothing. They are both created in God's image and likeness so get your mind outta the gutter!

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what do giraffes have that other animals don't have? -baby giraffes

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To escape the overwhelming feeling of self doubt created by an abusive drug addicted father which has left him seeking life threatening situations that should never befall a simple chicken.

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what did the hobo do when he saw timmy get hit by the bus and drop his ice cream? stole the ice cream and laughed

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What did Justin Bieber get for Christmas? An iPod Touch and a few nice sweaters.

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Why did the boy go swimming in the ocean? He didn't. the current pulled him in and he drowned.

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Knock Knock Who's there? Boo Were your parents drunk when they named you?

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Why did i write this joke knowing i wont get published? I don't know.

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wat does T.J.C.S. Mean? leave an comment to answer

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What's white and sticky? A white stick.

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Knock Knock "Who's There?" *No answer* The man proceeds to go on with his life

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There was an old lady from Ealing Who had a peculiar feeling She lay on her back Opened her crack And pissed all over the ceiling The old lady then lay in her own waste for over two weeks due to neglect by uncaring nursing home staff. Six months later, a hidden camera documentary on underperforming care homes exposed the abuse and neglect and the old lady went to live with her son and his family. In the early hours of May 14th 2011, the whole family were killed in a house fire that gutted the home and saw fires spread to neighbouring houses. Firefighters say the blaze originated in the spare room and was caused by exposed wiring on an electrical blanket. Forensic experts said that the repeated urination on the blanket would likely corrode the wiring due to the acidic content of urine.

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That joke was so funny that I fell off my dinosaur. Then afterwards had to be put in a rehabilitation center because I am schizophrenic and dinosaurs are extinct.

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Q: what do you call a person who's ass is dumb A: a dumbass

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Why did the cookie go to the hospital? Leukemia

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What is green and would kill you if it fell out of a tree and onto your head? A pool table.

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Where do farmers retire their used farm equipment? The tree in their backyard.

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What happens when a japanese boy goes into a planet called Zypharecion which is 2000 light years away with 20% oxygen and 78% nitrogen and 2% of other earthly air elements and heats up a balloon enough that it explodes? He wont be at that planet because it does not exist and travelling at the speed of light has not been proven possible for humans.

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A Woman out of the kitchen

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Three nuns accidentally walked in to a bar and so they immediately went out.

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What's worse than women's rights? Actually, not much, because women throughout history suffered for too long the hardships of over dominant male figures and deserve the freedoms they have achieved today.

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Ask me if I'm a tree. Are you a tree? No.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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