Why does Jonny have a phobia birds? Because he has one glued to his face.

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What's the difference between a black man and a Jew? Nothing, he's the same person

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How do you fit 100 ethiopians in a phone box? With great difficulty.

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What's the difference between black people and white people? Their skin color.

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A crazy priest squats down and poops in the middle of the church... nobody understood what was going so they pointed and laughed.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? know on knows as he can't talk

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? 1. Discovering your "girlfriend" is a man 2. The Holocaust 3. Being Raped 4. Being Raped by a Giant Scorpion-Panda Hybrid 5. Being Raped by a Giant Scorpion-Panda Hybrid who doesn't wear protection.

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It's raining, it's pouring The old man is snoring He went to bed, he bumped his head Got a brain hemorrhage and died in his sleep.

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How do wake up Lady Gaga You Poker her face

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Yo mamma's so stupid, she dropped out of college.

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There was an old lady from Ealing Who had a peculiar feeling She lay on her back Opened her crack And pissed all over the ceiling The old lady then lay in her own waste for over two weeks due to neglect by uncaring nursing home staff. Six months later, a hidden camera documentary on underperforming care homes exposed the abuse and neglect and the old lady went to live with her son and his family. In the early hours of May 14th 2011, the whole family were killed in a house fire that gutted the home and saw fires spread to neighbouring houses. Firefighters say the blaze originated in the spare room and was caused by exposed wiring on an electrical blanket. Forensic experts said that the repeated urination on the blanket would likely corrode the wiring due to the acidic content of urine.

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What's white and sticky? A white stick.

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Why did the Mexican cross the road? Because he wanted to get to the other side.

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whats white and smells like black paint? nothing, white paint even though it is still paint has a slightly different smell due to the difference in dye colors used to make it

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What rhymes with you? You.

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A man walks into a bar... and watches the Monday Night Football game with his pals.

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Roses are red Violets are purple I just got raped by a clown

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Why did the chess grandmaster lose his mind? Because he died of old age.

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What did the penguins get for Christmas? A hang-glider What did the polar bears get for Christmas? Death, The Holocaust, Global Warming, and all of Steven King's books.

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If Barbie is so popular...why do you have to buy her friends?

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a man cries out to god.... and god does't reply.

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What did the grass say to the human "Hey" The human then screams and runs to safety

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How do you make a man sit down? Hold him at gunpoint.

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Roses Are Red, Violets Are Blue, I Have Alzheimers, Cheese on Toast.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops