What did the guard say to the... I was going to finish this anti-joke but I took an arrow to the knee.

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What did the boy who succsesfully came out of liposection get? Diobeeties.

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Why did the angry husband murder his cheating wife? She forgot to cook dinner.

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A dog walks into a bar, looks at the bartender, lifts its leg and pisses on a bar stool. What does the bartender do ? He chases the dog out the bar and gets a mop to mop up the piss.

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why did the girl smear penut butter on the road. To go with the trafic jam

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I went to the store and I fell

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why is six afraid of seven? because seven ate nine

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Q: Why MohammadReza Is a Bitch? A: Because he isnt a whore

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my bubbles!

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A person was born on may 5th 1955 and one day noticed that they had $555.55 in their bank account. The person went to a race and betted all their money on the 5th runner in the 5th race. What happened? The runner came in 5th place.

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What are corpses favorite form of entertainment? nothing, there dead.

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Why did the chiken cross the road. Anwer: because it was being chased by a crazy horny/ kinky redneck.

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a little boy told his friend he failed a test.. the friend replied that his parents r goin to kill him... to save himself the suffering ...the boy hung himself in his closet

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Freeza: I am the strongest in the universe! (if you ignore my brother Coola which is much stronger and all...) Goku: You have pissed me off now Freeza, I will now turn into a super Asian and prove to the world that real Asians are actually blonde and blue eyed! (I am sure Goku means Sayans, which is "completely different") Goku: HAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARG! Freeza: Omg, he... he... is trying to take a dump! IMPOSSIBLE! I will have to find his balls and caress them... Will Goku ever take a shit? Or reach all new levels of constipation during the series? Find out in the next episode of dragon ball z!

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i was molested.

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Roses are Red. Violets are Blue. Grandma's dead. call the paramedics.

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Q. Why do Puerto Ricans throw their trash away in clear plastic bags? A. So Italians can go window shopping.

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What did the grass say to the human "Hey" The human then screams and runs to safety

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The big problem with politicians is they're always lying but fortunately there's always a moment when it's not a problem anymore. When they do it down in their tombs.

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what's the difference between natives and dogs? people enjoy having dogs in their houses

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your mama is so stupid i believe she will have a difficult time finding employment in these rough economic times

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Why did the little girl fall off the swing? Because she had no arms

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The meme walks out of the bar.

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why did aodhan not play BO2? Aodhan has Cerebral palsy.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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