Whats better than pizza? Pepperoni pizza, if you like pepperoni that is.

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How fast is the speed of sex? 70 mph, minimum 40 mph

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How's your mum? she's dead..

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What happened to the boy who fell off the swing? He got hurt.

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How did the square become a circle? Due to the period of recession in our nation, it was found necessary to cut corners.

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What black and blue and red all over? My mom after my dad comes back from the bar.

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What do you call a man with no arms or legs on your porch? Matt.

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So there's this mexican with a big sombrero riding a donkey, it was a sunny day and he didn't feel like walking.

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On a scale of one to 10, F*ck yourself.

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a horse walks in to a bar and the bar tender asks, "why the long face?" The horse doesn't respond because it is a horse and is confused by its surroundings and then gallops out of the bar knocking over a few tables as it makes its escape.

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Cancer victim: What kind of doctor are you? Person 2: I'm not a doctor. In fact, I'm a suicide bomber and am planning to initiate the detonation sequence right now. Cancer victim: Well, it doesn't really matter. No matter who shows up, I'll still die anyways. This way, I'll be able to pay a visit to the transcendent city high in the heavens sooner. Person 2: I bet that many would mourn your death at your remembrance ceremony. Cancer victim: That doesn't bother me. My friends and family are close to my heart, but that doesn't warrant eternal proximity with one another in itself. Person 2: Let's go to a better place. Let us finally break free of our mortal chains that have unceasingly been hindering our progress since the first war took place. Cancer victim: Wait, I've changed my mind! Person 2: Too late. I wish I had a time machine... not.

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Yo mammas so fat she went on a diet.

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It's raining, it's pouring The old man is snoring He went to bed, he bumped his head Got a brain hemorrhage and died in his sleep.

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Why did the vegetarian only work one day? Because her co-workers are cannibals.

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Knock Knock "Who's There?" *No answer* The man proceeds to go on with his life

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There are 3 type of people in the world. People who can count, and people who can't.

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Boom.

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why does crazy george spin a ball on his fingers well? because he has a huge dingo

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What do you call a man with no arms and no legs in the middle of the oceon? Dead in the water.

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There are stars in the sky when it's dark. You may have noticed I used a contraction in the previous sentence.

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Why did the chiken cross the road. Anwer: because it was being chased by a crazy horny/ kinky redneck.

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a little boy told his friend he failed a test.. the friend replied that his parents r goin to kill him... to save himself the suffering ...the boy hung himself in his closet

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Your momma's so fat... She's on a diet.

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Haikus are awesome, but sometimes they dont make sense. Refrigerator.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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