You're momma's so fat, she's got high cholesterol.

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what's the difference between a duck? one leg is the same.

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What's the difference between a box of dead babies and a Lamborghini? I don't have a Lamborghini in my garage

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Why was school cancelled? Because the school was bombed.

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A negro named Kanye walks into a Tavern... He's stoned to death.

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Why is it hard to fool an aborted fetus? Because it wasn't born yesterday.

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A man and his family walk into a talent agent's office. The man proceeds to sexually accost his wife and children. The agent calls security who escort the family out and helps the wife find a domestic violence shelter to stay at.

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How do you stop a run-away bus? You sit down in the driver's seat and gently place your foot on the brake pedular and proceed to press it down. The brake pads, located in the calipers, will squeeze the brake discs and slow the bus eventually to stop at the crosswalk for the old lady accompanied by a young boy scout to cross the street and continue their wonderful lives.

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What's brown and smells Iike crap? My brother he doesn't shower and is Hispanic

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nick toth

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why is six afraid of seven? because seven ate nine

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Why did the boy go swimming in the ocean? He didn't. the current pulled him in and he drowned.

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What do you call a man with no arms and legs swimming? Drowning.

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how many indians does it take to screw in a light bulb? one if it can reach 2 if it's high.One to screw in the bulb the other to hold the ladder.

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What is big, green and fuzzy and if it falls out of a tree and hit you in the head, it will probably kill you? A pool table.

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What did the farmer say when he couldn't find his tractor? Hey, where'd my tractor go?

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What is the best way to avoid wrinkles as you age? Moisturise with a good quality moisturiser, use high factor suncream on the face, get plenty of sleep, drink plenty of fluids, wear a hat and sunglasses and stay in the shade between 11am and 3pm, and try to eat a diet that is heart-healthy (for example, wholegrain, oily fish, and/or flax seed), as heart failure over a long time leads to sagging skin with a loss of elasticity.

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What goes in long and hard and comes out wet and sticky? A penis after orgasmic intercourse.

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Why did the girls head explode while eating supper? There was a grenade in her food.

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What is colourful and explodes in the air. I don't know but it sounds cool!

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Two gay guys walked in to a bar. It's unfair of me to make the assumption that they're gay, they just be really good friends whom aren't opposed to touching each other.

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Why didn't Helen Keller have headphones? Because they weren't invented

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How many blondes does it take to dye their own hair black and act in an intelligent, sensible manner?

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Limericks are fun, I have an orange Nothing rhymes with orange crap orange

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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