How did the fat man die? Someone who was mad at society shot him and many others in the head while at the workplace.

How can you kill a blonde? Hack her to bits.

A man walked in a bar had 4 drinks and walked home because drunk driving is dangerous

What cheese is not yours? The one that you didn't buy.

you momas so fat, you momas so ugly Your mother's breasts sag with such severity that the late great Salvador Dali mistook them for cloth.

Two muffins are in an oven. They are then baked at 375 for about 30 minutes and then taken out to cool.

what is worse then stubbing your toe in the dark? -september 11th

What's yellow and dangerous? China.

A barrel of monkeys is only a barrel of laughs if they're alive and telling jokes.

Where do bananas come from? Mexico

26.5% of Americans are obese.

Roses are red Violets are purple I just got raped by a clown

How many dead babies can you fit in a trash can? 12- 18 (depending on size) I know this because i use to work at a abortion clinic

Q: What do you call an aligator in a vest A: Investigator

what did one caterpillar say to another caterpillar? let's be butterflies

Emo Girl: Whats Your Favorite song? Regulor Girl: Something Carrie Underwood sing!(: Emo Girl: Are you retarted? Regulor Girl: Well im not the one who loves Emos .-. --------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Honstley, I didnt right this my cousin told me to wriget this... i think its stupied... And Yes, Ima Emo but im not trying to judge people if there emo or not! :D Luv ya! -Angel- <3

What did the phone say to the telephone? I can't connect with you.

Roses are der, Violets are lube, I am dyslexic.

What did the lawyer get for Christmas? More paper work

Roses are red, Violets are blue, I hate rhyming, Zebras.

whats black. an african american person

What do you call a black man flying an airplane? A pilot

YouTube comment: If I get a cent for every pixel on the screen. I would have... $960 for a 224p video $2049.6 240p video $1296 for a 270p video $2304 for a 360p video $4099.2 for a 480p video $9984 for a 520p video $9216 for a 720p video $20736 for a 1080p video $125829.12 for a 2304p video ... I would be RICH!!

What's black and not working? An old, broken piano.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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