Why don't women wear watches? In the technologically advanced age that we live in, the watch is rapidly being replaced with other electronic devices that tell time, such as cell phones or iPods.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Roses are red, violets are blue, why am i even talking to you?

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Two muffins are in an oven. One says "It's getting hot in here". The other one starts to reply but then it's internal organs burst from the heat.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

56

thumb_up thumb_down -20

Roses are red Violets are purple I just got raped by a clown

thumb_up thumb_down -22

What's red and spins real fast? Not a dead baby in a blender, babies can't fit in there. Unless of course you dismember them. but that's obsurd. . . Kinda

thumb_up thumb_down -24

What happens when a japanese boy goes into a planet called Zypharecion which is 2000 light years away with 20% oxygen and 78% nitrogen and 2% of other earthly air elements and heats up a balloon enough that it explodes? He wont be at that planet because it does not exist and travelling at the speed of light has not been proven possible for humans.

thumb_up thumb_down -26

Why did the chess grandmaster lose his mind? Because he died of old age.

thumb_up thumb_down -28

I just lost the game where if you think about the game then you lose the game. so did you.

thumb_up thumb_down -100

Why did the black man steal purple kool-aid, chicken and watermelon? Because it was the birthday of his 8 year old daughter with autism and she loves purple kool-aid, chicken and watermelon and he was very poor and wanted to make his little girl happy for once.

thumb_up thumb_down +33

I need somebody to lean on... ...Because one of my legs was amputated after I was blown up on a mine field in afganistan.

thumb_up thumb_down +31

What do you call a woman with a penis? A Hermaphrodite.

thumb_up thumb_down +29

Whats red and cant fly a plane. An apple.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

what was the dinosaur after it got out of the pool? wet

thumb_up thumb_down +23

Knock knock. Who's there? I just ding dong ditched you.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

What's the difference between a white man and a black man? Nothing. They are both created in God's image and likeness so get your mind outta the gutter!

thumb_up thumb_down +15

nick toth

thumb_up thumb_down +13

How do you wake up Lady Gaga? Poke her face (pokerface)

thumb_up thumb_down +11

What's black and white and red all over? And old fashioned television painted red.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

What cheese is not yours? The one that you didn't buy.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

What do the Holocaust and baseball have in common? They are sports, except the Holocaust.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Yo mammas so fat she went on a diet.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

What do you call a donkey walking backwards a confused donkey

thumb_up thumb_down -5

What rhymes with you? You.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops