"What's 'green', 'blue', and 'red' all over?" My color-blind friend said in confusion.

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There was a Priest, a Rabbi, and a Gay Man on a plane. The plane was going down. The Priest said "amen". The Rabbi said "amein". The Gay Man put his penis in the rabbi's asshole.

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What do you call a redneck in a propane store? A customer.

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Three men are on a plane*. (*Note, that this is a low-altitude plane, in which they are allowed to open the windows) The stewardess offers the first man refreshments. He asks for an orange. The stewardess agrees, on one condition: that he throws it out the window. Confused, the man complies, and upon receiving his orange, he throws it out the window. The stewardess moves on to the second man, who asks for an apple. The stewardess agrees, on one condition: that he throws it out the window. Also confused, the man complies, and upon receiving his apple, he throws it out the window. Finally, the stewardess moves onto the third man, who asks for a bomb. Without question, the stewardess agrees, on one condition: that he throws it out the window. With no reaction, the man receives the bomb, then throws it out the window. Upon landing, the first man sees a woman crying. With a sympathetic heart, he asks what's the matter. She replies, "I was walking down the street, and an orange came from the sky and hit me in the head." The man brushes the event off as a coincidence. The second man sees another woman crying. Upon asking her what's the matter, she replies, "I was walking down the street, and an apple came from the sky and hit me in the head." The man, confused, apologizes and walks away. The third man sees a woman hysterically laughing. Intrigued, he inquires her jolly. She manages to state through her hysteria, "When me fart, me whole house blow up!"

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What did the Catholic preist say to the altar boy? You've been a good altar boy.

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Limericks are fun, I have an orange Nothing rhymes with orange crap orange

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A horse walks into a bar. The bartender asks, "Why the long face?" The horse says, "I have cancer."

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What does a turkey do? I don't know I'm not a turkey

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Knock, Knock The door's open

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Your mom is so stupid that... She often makes mistakes.

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I got 99 problems... and an indeterminate number of them are bitches.

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Why did the old lady start crying? Because her daughter was raped and killed.

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Q: What do a dildo salesman and a car salesman have in common? A: They are both salesman

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In Soviet Russia, there are communists.

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Why does Jonny have a phobia birds? Because he has one glued to his face.

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What's the difference between a box of dead babies and a Lamborghini? I don't have a Lamborghini in my garage

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What's green and invisible? This cabbage.

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Knock, knock Who's there? Landlord; you've been evicted.

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you: knock knock person: who's there you: interrupting cow person: interrupting cow you:MOOOOOOOOO

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here kitty kitty

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sometimes i take my duck a shower, i always use cold water because if i use hot water it will think im cooking it.

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Obama.

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Duke: Hi Sally: Hello Duke: Nice weather huh? Sally: I couldn't tell ya duke, I'm not a meteorologist.

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What do you call a guy who has sex with kids? A child molester

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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