whats worse than 4 dead monkeys? everything! dead monkeys are awesome

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Jesus can walk on water, but Chuck Norris can swim on land... it's called having a swimming pool

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If Billy has 4 apples in his left hand and 6 apples in his right hand, what does he have? Very large hands.

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did you hear about the platypus that was found dead in the middle of death valley?

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Whats gay and smells like paint? A gay man covered in paint.

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A man walks in to a bar. He gets a cuncussion and his heath insurance isn't enough to cover his physical therapy. He dies poor and alone.

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How do you stop a black man from drowning? Take your fott off his head.

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The Sentence Below Is True The Sentence Above Is False

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Whats black and blue and doesnt bruise? a bruise.

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Why did the baby duck cry? Because his family just got ran over by a truck

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A woman is in a terrible car crash. The husband comes in, runs to the doctor and he says "Doctor! My wife...is she going to make it?" The doctor turns and says "your wife will survive, but she's experienced heavy brain trauma. She will never walk again. You'll have to bathe her, feed her, change her diapers, and cater to her every need." The husband starts crying and says "oh my God that's terrible! Are you serious?" The doctor replies "Yes."

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Why did the man fall of his bike? He wasn't on his bike, i drowned him yesterday.

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Why did I lose a card game to a cat? Cause he was a cheetah!

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If I had a penny for every time I said the word "the" I would have AIDS

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Why wasn't the little boy allowed to get a dog? Because the orphanage he lives at doesn't allow dogs.

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Why do so many black people like watermelon? The same reason so many white people, do. Have you had that stuff, it's really good!

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An old man, and his daughter are walking down the street. They are having a nice time, until the daughter turns around to see the old man lying on the ground in pain because of the crippling arthritis in his back that has caused him agony and discomfort for years.

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What do you call a Jew A Jew

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so your paddling up stream in a cement canoe, one wheel falls off. how many pancakes does it take to shingle a dog house? 46 cause bears dont like eggs.

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Q: What do you call justin bieber? A: gay

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I went to school. Then I came home.

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'l give you a nickle to tickle my pickle i'l give you a dime to take you time

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Why did the women cross the road? I dont know.. why? no clue.. why was she out of the kitchen

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Why are apples cheaper than lemons? Because you have to pay less money then lemons to buy them

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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