What's up? Up Adverb: Toward the sky or a higher position. Preposition: From a lower to a higher point on (something); upward along: "I climbed up a flight of steps". Adjective: Directed or moving toward a higher place or position: "the up escalator". Noun: A period of good fortune. Verb: Do something abruptly or boldly: "she upped and left him". Synonyms: adverb. upward - upwards - aloft - above - upstairs - overhead preposition. on - upon - over - along - with adjective. rising noun. ascent - rise - upgrade verb. raise - enhance - increase - lift - rise

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Yo momma is so old that she will be moved to a nursing home next week.

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A: Knock Knock! B: RING THE DOORBELL YA DUMMY

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What's worse than walking into a lampost? Your seven year old child accidentally finding and watching a sex tape that you made years ago.

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A man looks both ways before crossing the street. He gets hit by an airplane.

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what do you call a black clerk? one of the 2 billion people with a job, u bum!

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What happened to the lion which escaped from the zoo? It was successfully recaptured.

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How many Russians can you fit in a Mini Cooper? It depends on how big they are.

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what did the pizza say to the bread? nothing pizza cant talk

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Why did the boy eat the apple. He really likes apples.

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What has 4 legs and doesn't move? A child born in Chernobyl.

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why did the firefighter let the fire burn... becuase of inattentivieness. he will soon be fired.

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Why did the English man walk into a bar? Do get an alcoholic beverage to temporarily forget the pain of his recent divorce.

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i like my coffee like i like my women. without a penis.

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Why did Sarah fall off the swing? She had no arms! Knock Knock Who's there? Not Sarah!

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A fat black guy walks into a pet store and asks if he can have a chicken. The cashier says "what do you want a chicken for?" He says " I need to lose weight so I'm hoping to eat its all natural eggs" So the cashier gives him the chicken and the fat black guy lost 50 pounds.

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Roses are red, violets are blue, i get tired of this shit let's have some grey goose

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Why did Sally fall of the swing set? Because she got hit with a mattress

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Whats green and has wheels? A green car.

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A guy finds a lamp in the desert and rubs it 3 times.. No genie appears because there is no such thing as Magic.

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A dyslexic walks into church and asks the priest. "Father is there a dog."

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What is big, long, hot, and firm? An erection due to the arousal of a woman's sex appeal.

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What do you call a person without a heart? Not alive.

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What did the pedophile say to the delightfully curly-headed youth? If I can't have you, I'm going to shoot you through the nails with a nail gun.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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