A man walks into a bar and probably sustains serious head injuries and possibly a concussion as most bars are usually made out of solid metals such as iron or steel and is therefore not permitted by his doctor to engage in sports or other rigorous activities for an allotted period of time depending on the degree of his injury.

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What did the Jewish man get for Christmas? Jews don't celebrate Christmas, therefore nothing

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A: Can I get a tall white Russian. B: No. A: Why not? B: Because this is a Barnes and Nobles. However, we do have a Starbucks, and I can offer you a venti caramel iced coffee"

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what do you call an astrounaut in space? an astrounaut you racist bastard

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What to you call a heavy person, Someone overweight

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Yo mama so dumb, she studied for a blood test.

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How do you stop a dog from barking? Cut it's head off

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What's white and looks like paper? Paper.

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roses are red violets are blue get out of my face before i kill you

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I work at jcpenny

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why is everyone always picking on ruth? because they just do

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Roses are red. Violets are violet. Violet is a color already.

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An Arabic Muslim is on a plane. He's flying to Chicago.

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Why a man without hands and without legs want to stay in a barrel? He actually doesn't, but is unable to get out of it.

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what's gay as AIDS? The way you got it

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Why do vampires drink blood? Maybe if they existed you could ask one.

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Ask me if I'mm a candy cane. Shutup, there are a lot of these types of jokes. Create your own you poophead.

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Three guys, stranded on a desert island, find a magic lantern containing a genie, who grants them each one wish. The first guy wishes he was off the island and back home. The second guy wishes the same. The third guy says "I’m lonely. I wish my friends were back here."

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How can you make sure your friend wont die of cancer? Decapitate him

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The Below statement is an antijoke. The Above statement is a joke.

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Why does Michael J. Fox have a good handshake? He has a firm grip

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what did Stephen Hawking say to the prositute? nothing, because he has a disability which renders him unable to speak

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Buy a SHOTGUN!!!!

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If Chuck Norris was really so awesome he would come and slam my head into the keyboard.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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