What happens when you throw a cricket bat at a blonde? She is hurt and reports you to the police for anti-social behaviour.

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Jesus Christ walks into a bar and the bartender says "Holy crap it's Jesus!" and everyone quickly updates their Facebooks.

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Q: What's brown and sticky? A: A stick.

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What happened when a boy threw a ball at the wall? It hit him in the face

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WOMENS RIGHTS

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Knock knock. MAN: Who's there? HOOKER: The hooker you called for. MAN: Oh, dear lord. My wife hasn't left yet. I need you to come back in fifteen minutes. WIFE: Honey, who is it? MAN: It's the hooker I called for, but you haven't left. I told her to come back in fifteen minutes.

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Knock Knock! Who's there? Your landlord. I'm here to collect rent

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What did the White guy say to the Black Guy? "Hey, what's up?"

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because the farmer was arrested by the ASPCA and PETA for letting the chicken run free near a horribly busy road

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What kind of cheese is not you cheese? Not your cheese.

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Why was the thirteen year old raped by an online predator? Because he made very poor choices on giving out his personal information.

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Viciously beating your children with other recently beaten children.

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An Englishman, an Irishman and a Scottishman walk into a gay bar. And why shoudn't they.

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Pickup Line: Hay girl is that a mirror in your pants. Becuase I can see me in it.

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I went to the store and I fell

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What's brown and smells Iike crap? My brother he doesn't shower and is Hispanic

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Did you hear about the kid napping? They found his body in a ditch.

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Ever since I've been using chloroform as cologne I've been getting laid a lot.

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What do the Holocaust and baseball have in common? They are sports, except the Holocaust.

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Why did i write this joke knowing i wont get published? I don't know.

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how many indians does it take to screw in a light bulb? one if it can reach 2 if it's high.One to screw in the bulb the other to hold the ladder.

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There was an old lady from Ealing Who had a peculiar feeling She lay on her back Opened her crack And pissed all over the ceiling The old lady then lay in her own waste for over two weeks due to neglect by uncaring nursing home staff. Six months later, a hidden camera documentary on underperforming care homes exposed the abuse and neglect and the old lady went to live with her son and his family. In the early hours of May 14th 2011, the whole family were killed in a house fire that gutted the home and saw fires spread to neighbouring houses. Firefighters say the blaze originated in the spare room and was caused by exposed wiring on an electrical blanket. Forensic experts said that the repeated urination on the blanket would likely corrode the wiring due to the acidic content of urine.

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Your mother is so fat.... I am happy to see her join our exercise group.

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Why did the man not get home to his loving family? He blew up.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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