What did the penguins get for Christmas? A hang-glider What did the polar bears get for Christmas? Death, The Holocaust, Global Warming, and all of Steven King's books.

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What did the girl with no arms and no legs get for Christmas? Repeatedly raped by her alcoholic, child molesting father.

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What do you a a toilet with fecal matter in it? A toilet.

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Why couldn't Hellen Keller drive? Because she was a woman.

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The meme walks out of the bar.

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What's the difference between a Jew and a Pizza? A Jew is a person either born into or converted to Judaism, and a Pizza is a disc shaped, oven baked bread typically topped with tomato sauce and cheese.

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Why Did the baby cross the street? He was stapled to the chicken's back

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My wife's star sign was cancer and it's quite ironic how she died really... She was attacked by a giant crab.

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Wumbo

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Know what's funny? Jokes.

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Why does Jonny have a phobia birds? Because he has one glued to his face.

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Why did the little girl fall off the swing set? She had no arms.

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 was a registered sexual offender.

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what did the atheist get for Christmas? Nothing. If he was being truly honest to his beliefs, he wouldn't partake in a christian holiday.

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How do you fit 100 ethiopians in a phone box? With great difficulty.

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The pope and three young boys get into a cab. The pope tells the driver to take the boys home.

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What do snowmen eat for lunch? Snowmen don't eat, they're inanimate balls of of solid precipitation with rocks for smiles and eyes and carrots for noses.

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You.

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what do you call a homosexual kid? A Kerich

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How do you get a one-armed Polak out of a tree? Get a ladder and carry him down.

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How much does a polar bear weigh? Around a thousand pounds.

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Why was the boy sad? His friend stabbed him with a fork. Also, his mother died. Also, his dad raped him Also, he has a chode. And it really sucks when you have a chode.

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Jesus

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You walk in to your room. 7 chickens on your bed.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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