a young mother calf named near reality was milking itself and selling it at pathmark everyday for high prices he got a lot of money out of it and bought a big mansion where he also had a farm and collected prize show cows to show off to all of his cow friends.... he also bought gallons and gallons and gallons and gallons and gallons and gallons and gallons and gallons and gallons and gallons of prize show cow milk to drink to and build up energy for the cow show race coming up in the near fall. Every sunset he buys loads of milk to drink and feed his plants with. He plants lots of grass every day to eat and produce high quality milk goods. He was a wii, ps3, and xbox360 to play everyday and excercise his udder milk.

thumb_up thumb_down -39

Whats better than pizza? Pepperoni pizza, if you like pepperoni that is.

thumb_up thumb_down -53

A: Knock knock. B: Who's there? A: Banana! B: Not you again..(slams door)

thumb_up thumb_down -95

How's your mum? she's dead..

thumb_up thumb_down -113

Knock knock Who's there? That that that. What makes you say that?

thumb_up thumb_down +88

Why didn't Tommy walk to school? 'Cause he was in a wheelchair..

thumb_up thumb_down +74

A priest and a bunch of boys are in a room. They are having choir practice.

thumb_up thumb_down +72

Why did the old woman put roller skates on her rocking chair? She had dementia.

thumb_up thumb_down +50

What's brown and sticky? a stick.

thumb_up thumb_down +36

Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 was a registered sexual offender.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

John had 32 candy bars. He ate 28 of them. What does John have now? daibetes, john has diabetes.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

A crazy priest squats down and poops in the middle of the church... nobody understood what was going so they pointed and laughed.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

The night is always darkest just before the dawn. Just kidding I'm Helen Keller, everything's always dark.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Are you from Tennessee? cuz i wanna makeout with your face.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

What do you call cheese that's not yours? Someone else's cheese.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

What do you call a black person who drives a plane? A pilot.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Cancer victim: What kind of doctor are you? Person 2: I'm not a doctor. In fact, I'm a suicide bomber and am planning to initiate the detonation sequence right now. Cancer victim: Well, it doesn't really matter. No matter who shows up, I'll still die anyways. This way, I'll be able to pay a visit to the transcendent city high in the heavens sooner. Person 2: I bet that many would mourn your death at your remembrance ceremony. Cancer victim: That doesn't bother me. My friends and family are close to my heart, but that doesn't warrant eternal proximity with one another in itself. Person 2: Let's go to a better place. Let us finally break free of our mortal chains that have unceasingly been hindering our progress since the first war took place. Cancer victim: Wait, I've changed my mind! Person 2: Too late. I wish I had a time machine... not.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

A black man and a hispanic man are riding in a car. Who's driving? The hispanic man

thumb_up thumb_down -2

How do wake up Lady Gaga You Poker her face

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Jesus

thumb_up thumb_down -8

A guy walks into a bar and says, "Ouch!"

thumb_up thumb_down -8

What is the difference between muffins and cornbread? I don't enjoy sticking cornbread in my anus.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

There are 3 type of people in the world. People who can count, and people who can't.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Why did the boy cry? Because he was mercilessly beaten by his mother.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops