A blonde walks into a library. "PLEASE CAN I HAVE A CHEESEBURGER?!" he shouts at the top of his lungs. "Sir, this is a library," the librarian says. "Oh, sorry," he whispers and goes to McDonald's Two years of the routine and he dies of of heart failure and has diabetes.

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What's green and has wheels? A cucumber with wheels.

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Richard fell off of a cliff. He can fly.

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Q: What is a African man with funny clothing and children straddling onto his back for dear life/ screaming in fear who only a few minutes ago before a particular incident made several young children cry and being chased by an authority figure? A: An intentionally inane circus performer partcipating in a scintillating rendition alongside his two children of who inadvertently frightened a small group of youth before he immediately decided to proceed by, during one of his extremely long, albeit few breaks, taking the members of his family on an interesting excursion to the nearby amusement park for occassional thrills. On the initial journey there, the black man, out of haste, accidentally dropped one of his children's most valuable toys of which elicited undeniably obnoxious bouts of sadness to come bursting out of his children's respective chests and an increased rate-of-travel for his wife of who accopanied him on his adventure and desired to assist him in his panic. In the spin of events, the man experienced an instance of hyper-activedness and spun out of control for a minute before eventually cooling down. Hence the screaming.

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why were the little boy's clothes all wet? because they found his body in the bottom of a river.

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A man walks into a bar. It hurt.

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You walk in to your room. 7 chickens on your bed.

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If you're American when you go into the bathroom, and American when you come out, what are you inside? American! What are you, a communist?

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Stephen Hawking walks into a bar.

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What do you call a man with no arms and no legs in the middle of the oceon? Dead in the water.

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Why did the pollock jump into the sea? A pollock is a fish.

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A man walked into a bar. What did he say? Ouch.

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What happens when a japanese boy goes into a planet called Zypharecion which is 2000 light years away with 20% oxygen and 78% nitrogen and 2% of other earthly air elements and heats up a balloon enough that it explodes? He wont be at that planet because it does not exist and travelling at the speed of light has not been proven possible for humans.

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what has green paint and flies? a garbage truck

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Knock, knock. Who's there? Butter. Butter who? Oh, um, sorry i forgot the rest...

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Kony 2012

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A: Knock knock. B: Who's there? A: Banana! B: Not you again..(slams door)

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How's your mum? she's dead..

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What's the hardest part of the vegetable to eat? The wheelchair

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Why couldn't Hellen Keller drive? Because she was a woman.

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My mother-in-law fell down a wishing well, I was amazed, I never knew they worked.

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What's the difference between a duck?

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Two elephants are in a bath tub. The first elephant says to the other elephant, "can you pass the soap?" The second elephant then replied, "No soap, radio."

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What did the black man do with the woman's purse? Safely returned it to her

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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