What did the republican say to the democrat? You suck!

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How do you fit 1,000 Jews in a Volkswagen? Trick question, you can't.

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Gale swallows.

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How many jews can get in a Volvo? 5.

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My wife's star sign was cancer and it's quite ironic how she died really... She was attacked by a giant crab.

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Me: Knock Knock! You: Door's Open!

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Q: What is hard and long on a man? A: His wife's funeral

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How do you have sex with the blue waffle? stick your penis inside

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Whats 9+10? 19

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What starts with an F and ends with a UCK? Firetruck.

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Two black guys walk into a country club and ask to play a round of golf. They are turned away because the aren't members of the club.

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nick toth

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i think i have a problem with these jokes they aren't finny

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What's white and sticky? A white stick.

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A barrel of monkeys is only a barrel of laughs if they're alive and telling jokes.

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What can be any colour and is made of leather? Cars. I lied about the leather part.

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what did johnny's dad say to him after his baseball game? nothing because johnny's dad was an abusive alcoholic who beat him until the neighbors found out and called the police. the dad was arrested, tried in court then promptly thrown in jail were he was raped in the showers repeatedly by a very large and intimidating black man. he vomited suicide in his cell today by drinking drain cleaner

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I love my valentine <3 Hes mine no matter what anyone says <3 Cause i love him with all my heart <3

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Roses Are Red, Violets Are Blue, I Have Alzheimers, Cheese on Toast.

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My Roomate-(crying in the fetal position for the love of his life has been murderer) Me- (laughing) I have a problem

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What's black, white,and red all over? A crime scene where a black and white man were brutally murdered by a psychopath that is still on the loose and could be killing someone else.

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Q: What did the mime say to the crowd gathered at the crime scene? A:

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America Votes

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One aardvark says to the other aardvark, "Hi." The other aardvark says, "Ahh! A talking aarkvard."

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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