A horse walks into a bar. The barman immediately calls the local stable to report the missing stallion, and his owner promptly arrives to take him home. He thanks the landlord and offers a small reward, but it is respectfully declined.

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What did the homosexual eat for breakfast? A light meal consisting of fruit and whole grains, so he could keep his weight down.

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A black, a muslim, and a communist walk into a bar, the bartender says "what will it be Mr. President?

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*insert lame joke stolen from the top 10 jokes and think it's original because I changed one word*

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A man walks into a bar. Ouch.

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Q: What is a African man with funny clothing and children straddling onto his back for dear life/ screaming in fear who only a few minutes ago before a particular incident made several young children cry and being chased by an authority figure? A: An intentionally inane circus performer partcipating in a scintillating rendition alongside his two children of who inadvertently frightened a small group of youth before he immediately decided to proceed by, during one of his extremely long, albeit few breaks, taking the members of his family on an interesting excursion to the nearby amusement park for occassional thrills. On the initial journey there, the black man, out of haste, accidentally dropped one of his children's most valuable toys of which elicited undeniably obnoxious bouts of sadness to come bursting out of his children's respective chests and an increased rate-of-travel for his wife of who accopanied him on his adventure and desired to assist him in his panic. In the spin of events, the man experienced an instance of hyper-activedness and spun out of control for a minute before eventually cooling down. Hence the screaming.

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What black and blue and red all over? My mom after my dad comes back from the bar.

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FIRE!!

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What's red and green and goes 100 mph? A car that is driving recklessly and happens to have a Christmas paint scheme.

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Richard fell off of a cliff. He can fly.

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Knock Knock "Who's There?" *No answer* The man proceeds to go on with his life

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a man walks into a bar he is an alcohol and it's ruining his family

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because my first shot missed.

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Did you hear about the guy who fell off the mountain? Oh, well he died

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Two muffins are in an oven. One says "It's getting hot in here". The other one starts to reply but then it's internal organs burst from the heat.

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A guy walks into a bar and says, "Ouch!"

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What do you call a donkey walking backwards a confused donkey

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whats worse than ten dead babies in one trashcan? one dead baby in ten trashcans

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what do you call a man with no arms and no legs? Bob

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Haikus are awesome, but sometimes they dont make sense. Refrigerator.

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What do you get when you cross Chuck Norris with a Cheetah? A yellow Chuck Norris with black spots.

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i love u. so rate me good or i will talk to my lawyer. nothing personal, i just have no arms, legs, or nose and got broken up with by a girlfriend yesterday (and no, she was not fake) Her name was maria. On the bright side, my grandma woke up this morning!

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whats annoying and black? black people

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Why do black people eat watermelon? It is a good source of vitamin C.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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