26.5% of Americans are obese.

thumb_up thumb_down -24

What did the girl with no arms and no legs get for Christmas? Repeatedly raped by her alcoholic, child molesting father.

thumb_up thumb_down -34

I just lost the game where if you think about the game then you lose the game. so did you.

thumb_up thumb_down -100

The meme walks out of the bar.

thumb_up thumb_down +47

What do you call a black man flying an airplane? A pilot

thumb_up thumb_down +33

Jon has 40 chololate bars, he eats 32, what does he have now? Diabetes.

thumb_up thumb_down +33

roses are grey, violets are grey, i'm colourblind and shit at poetry

thumb_up thumb_down +31

What's black and not working? An old, broken piano.

thumb_up thumb_down +27

Wanna hear a joke? Good, go ask a comedian.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

what is not funny? This joke.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

You're momma's so fat, she's got high cholesterol.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Why did the boy on stilts pick up the phone? Because it was ringing.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

What's red and green and goes 100 mph? A car that is driving recklessly and happens to have a Christmas paint scheme.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

What do you call a man with no arms or legs on your porch? Matt.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

FIRE!!

thumb_up thumb_down +3

what is worse then stubbing your toe in the dark? -september 11th

thumb_up thumb_down -3

A man walks into a bar... and watches the Monday Night Football game with his pals.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

What couldn't the stereotypical pirate get into the movie? Well, considering that the stereotypical pirate existed in the sixteenth to eightteenth centuries and the first motion picture wasn't made until the mid to late nineteenth century, also the technology for time travel does not exist nor has it ever, I would have to derive that he was not let in due to the fact that there was no way for him to ever exist at the same time that a movie would have been playing.

thumb_up thumb_down -23

56

thumb_up thumb_down -23

Why did the pollock jump into the sea? A pollock is a fish.

thumb_up thumb_down -25

Do you know what's fun about having sex with twenty-seven year-olds? There are twenty of them.

thumb_up thumb_down -25

Knock, knock. The man knocking finds a note taped to the door saying "we'll be back in a week", the man proceeds to walk back home and tell his wife that they weren't home and that he'll return the rake he borrowed from them next week when they're back.

thumb_up thumb_down -25

How many dead babies can you fit in a trash can? 12- 18 (depending on size) I know this because i use to work at a abortion clinic

thumb_up thumb_down -29

As a teen girl was walking through the perfume shop, she picked up one called, "Swirly Paradise." She sprayed it on her and sniffed the sweet scent. Suddenly, the world spun around and she suddenly woke up inside an empty bra. A mouse sniffed her and ate her alive.

thumb_up thumb_down -31

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops