Whats red and cant fly a plane. An apple.

you know what they say... hydrate or die

What jew get for christmas? Your money.

Whats worse than the holocaust? A n a l

Why did the women hit the telephone pole? There are many theories but one suggests that it is due to womens statistically lower cognitive spacial reasoning abilities.

How did Helen Keller become blind and deaf? Scarlet fever or meningitis.

A man walks into a bar and asks the bartender for 4 beers. The bartender replies, "One at a time, mate, will that work for you?" To which the man replies, "No", leaves, and drives his 1994 Toyota Corolla off of the road into the pit of a volcano.

So a baby seal walks into a club.

How do you get a plumber to cry? Kill his family

A blonde goes to the doctor and says, "Doctor, doctor, I feel like a pair of curtains!" "That is a worrying symptom," says the doctor, who immediately recommends the woman for a thorough psychiatric assessment.

What did the Catholic preist say to the altar boy? You've been a good altar boy.

A man walks into a bar He says ouch

Who is a nazi? • Theo Kingdom

What's the difference between a teacher and a train? A lot.

what do you call skiediving? a very fun but moderatly dangerouse sport that many people have fun doing from the ages of 19 to 31

Q. You are driving a car. In front of you there is a camion driving at your same speed. Behind you there is a helicopter flying at your same speed at the ground level. On your left there is an ambulance driving at your same speed and on your right there is a ravine. How do you get out from this horrible situation? A. Get off the carousel.

Knock Know Who's there Interrupting ghost Interu--BOO!!! Ha HA!

What's brown and sticky? a stick.

Knock Knock! Who's there? Your landlord. I'm here to collect rent

Ice cream You scream We all scream Because there is a murderer killing our friends

A blonde walks into a salon and says "I would like to get my golden locks trimmed." The haircutter replies "surely, just sit yourself down in that chair over there and I'll be with you momentarily." The blonde walks to the chair and sits down. When the haircutter comes over he asks her, "would you please remove your headset, I can't cut your hair while they're on." She laughs at her forgetfulness and removes them obligingly.

An Irishman walks into a bar. He gets extremely drunk and gets hit by a train.

Why is it hard to fool an aborted fetus? Because it wasn't born yesterday.

"Ask me if I'm a billboard" "Are you a billboard?" "No"

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...