what is worse then stubbing your toe in the dark? -september 11th

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There was an old lady from Ealing Who had a peculiar feeling She lay on her back Opened her crack And pissed all over the ceiling The old lady then lay in her own waste for over two weeks due to neglect by uncaring nursing home staff. Six months later, a hidden camera documentary on underperforming care homes exposed the abuse and neglect and the old lady went to live with her son and his family. In the early hours of May 14th 2011, the whole family were killed in a house fire that gutted the home and saw fires spread to neighbouring houses. Firefighters say the blaze originated in the spare room and was caused by exposed wiring on an electrical blanket. Forensic experts said that the repeated urination on the blanket would likely corrode the wiring due to the acidic content of urine.

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Why did the chiken cross the road. Anwer: because it was being chased by a crazy horny/ kinky redneck.

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A man walks into a bar and asks the bartender for 4 beers. The bartender replies, "One at a time, mate, will that work for you?" To which the man replies, "No", leaves, and drives his 1994 Toyota Corolla off of the road into the pit of a volcano.

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Why was the man angry? Because I slept with his wife.

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Q. Why do Puerto Ricans throw their trash away in clear plastic bags? A. So Italians can go window shopping.

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what has green paint and flies? a garbage truck

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Three nuns accidentally walked in to a bar and so they immediately went out.

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How fast is the speed of sex? 70 mph, minimum 40 mph

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i love u. so rate me good or i will talk to my lawyer. nothing personal, i just have no arms, legs, or nose and got broken up with by a girlfriend yesterday (and no, she was not fake) Her name was maria. On the bright side, my grandma woke up this morning!

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Knock knock Who's there? That that that. What makes you say that?

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Your mom is so...wonderful.

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What is the difference between a botlle of sun lotion and a Mexican? A bottle of sun lotion contains a lotion that protects your skin against the sun, and a Mexican is a person from Mexico.

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What did the doctor say to the Lawyer? I get paid more

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I hate rhyming, Zebras.

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Kid 1: "Want a Hurts Doughnut?" Kid 2: "Umm... sure." Kid 1 opens up a box of freshly baked Hurts doughnut from Hurts Bakery and gives one to kid 2

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Jon has 40 chololate bars, he eats 32, what does he have now? Diabetes.

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Why did the black man steal purple kool-aid, chicken and watermelon? Because it was the birthday of his 8 year old daughter with autism and she loves purple kool-aid, chicken and watermelon and he was very poor and wanted to make his little girl happy for once.

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Why was the asian boy get straight A's? He paid attention during class, took good notes, studied at home, and had a personal drive that lead him to be a good student.

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Q: what is more sad than being alone A: being alone with lots of cats

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It's easy to take part, just type your text below!

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How can you kill a blonde? Hack her to bits.

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why did the girl smear penut butter on the road. To go with the trafic jam

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What's black and blue and red all over? A person who was just in a fight.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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