Why couldn't the morbidly obese lady order a cheeseburger? A: Because it wasn't on the menu

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What's pink and smells like chicken? A pink hair band, I was lying about the chicken part.

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I got 99 problems... and an indeterminate number of them are bitches.

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A man walked into a bar, he then fell to the ground screaming in pain.

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What does a mama bear on the pill have in common with the world series? No Cubs!

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What did the homosexual eat for breakfast? A light meal consisting of fruit and whole grains, so he could keep his weight down.

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A blonde walks into a salon and says "I would like to get my golden locks trimmed." The haircutter replies "surely, just sit yourself down in that chair over there and I'll be with you momentarily." The blonde walks to the chair and sits down. When the haircutter comes over he asks her, "would you please remove your headset, I can't cut your hair while they're on." She laughs at her forgetfulness and removes them obligingly.

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You're momma's so fat, she's got high cholesterol.

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*insert lame joke stolen from the top 10 jokes and think it's original because I changed one word*

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Q: why are kittens so cute? A: because god created them that way. go fourth and enjoy kittens.

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A bear walks into a bar. The building is evacuated swiftly but several people are killed

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Why did the chiken cross the road. Anwer: because it was being chased by a crazy horny/ kinky redneck.

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What's my name? I don't know u tell me.

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Why was the man angry? Because I slept with his wife.

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There was a Priest, a Rabbi, and a Gay Man on a plane. The plane was going down. The Priest said "amen". The Rabbi said "amein". The Gay Man put his penis in the rabbi's asshole.

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Your momma's so ugly that she was worried that she would never marry anyone.

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What was the Alzheimer patient favorite drink? What was the Alzheimer patient favorite drink?

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What did the doctor say to the Lawyer? I get paid more

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If you helped Jack on the horse, would you help Jack off the horse? Of course; if he was too short to climb onto the saddle then it would be irresponsible and potentially dangerous not to help him off. As his riding instructor, you would be liable for any injuries Jack sustained had he attempted to dismount the horse with no assistance.

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what the hell happened to your face

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Ow, there's an arrow in my knee!

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why did the boy drop his ice cream? he tripped over his mother's dead body

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It's easy to take part, just type your text below!

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Q: What is hard and long on a man? A: His wife's funeral

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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