What makes Stephen Hawking such a lame scientist??? A: he has a disabling disease. It's called ALS.

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A man walks into a bar He says ouch

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someone called a frog a frog

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What do you call a Mexican jumping fences? A really good athlete.

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A monkey enters a bar and climbs up on a stool. The bartender asks, "What'll ya have, pal?" The monkey, who can niether speak nor understand English, appears slightly perplexed.

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If you lose your left arm, your right one will be left.

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Why do immigrants move to the UK? To seek a better life

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Why didn't the African kid eat lunch? He wasn't hungry.

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What's green and invisible? This cabbage.

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Q: What did the diddler say to the little boy? A: Can i touch you inappropriately?

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The joke above me is a wind-up, losers :P

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A man walks into a bar. He has three drinks, then he leaves because he realizes he needs to get home because he has to get up early to go to his job in the morning.

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Whats the difference between a circle and a peace sign? Three lines!

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Johnny has 30 pints of ice cream. He eats 25 pints. What does Johnny have? Diabetes. Johnny has diabetes.

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GONNA

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Two blondes are walking down the street. One breaks her left high heel and the other is called Monica.

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Wanna hear a joke? Sure. Too bad I don't have one.

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What did the girl with no arms and no legs get for Christmas? Repeatedly raped by her alcoholic, child molesting father.

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Why didn't the dog like baseball? Being a dog, it had no idea or interest in what baseball is.

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What did the lawyer get for Christmas? More paper work

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A horse walks into a bar The bartender says "Haha, sucker, this is actually a glue factory" The horse is brutally slaughtered and his remains are sold for a profit as part of a glue product

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did you hear the one about the boyscout and his scoutmaster? They had a lovely relationship, and both went on to be role models.

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I got 99 problems... and an indeterminate number of them are bitches.

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Q: What do a dildo salesman and a car salesman have in common? A: They are both salesman

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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