Knock knock Who's There Doctor Doctor Who? Wrong, it's Dr. Doozer, you have AIDS

thumb_up thumb_down -91

(Q) Why did the little boy cross the road? (A) To get to the police officer. (Q) Why did the little boy need the police officer? (A) because he was raped.

thumb_up thumb_down +162

What did the lawyer get for Christmas? More paper work

thumb_up thumb_down +82

Did you hear about the kidnapping yesterday? He slept for at least 3 hours.

thumb_up thumb_down +44

Why did the chicken cross the road? I don't know why, but I was standing on the other side of the road and I took it home and mamed the chicken with a powerdrill.

thumb_up thumb_down +42

I like my coffee like i like my woman, Without a penis.

thumb_up thumb_down +40

What's a bit smaller than the tallest man in the world? The 2nd tallest man in the world.

thumb_up thumb_down +30

What did the man want a car for his birthday? 7.

thumb_up thumb_down +28

What do you get when you mix a dog and a cow blood everywhere

thumb_up thumb_down +14

"Ask me if I'm a billboard" "Are you a billboard?" "No"

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Burger King cashier: Are you on Team Jacob or Team Edward? Man: I'm on team I'm freaking hungry; now give me my food!

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Why did the fat man fall faster than the skinny man? He didn't. Masses does not affect the speed of falling objects. Everything with mass and volume falls with an acceleration of 9.81m/s^2 on Earth. Therefore the greater mass of the heavier man did not affect his falling speed. Both men fell at the same speed.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Why did the girls head explode while eating supper? There was a grenade in her food.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

What is the best way to avoid wrinkles as you age? Moisturise with a good quality moisturiser, use high factor suncream on the face, get plenty of sleep, drink plenty of fluids, wear a hat and sunglasses and stay in the shade between 11am and 3pm, and try to eat a diet that is heart-healthy (for example, wholegrain, oily fish, and/or flax seed), as heart failure over a long time leads to sagging skin with a loss of elasticity.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

Q: How did that man get two black eyes? A: He was born!

thumb_up thumb_down -24

a guy who can fly walks up a hill and jumps off a cliff. his flying power fails him and he dies on impact

thumb_up thumb_down -30

A blonde goes to the doctor and says, "Doctor, doctor, I feel like a pair of curtains!" "That is a worrying symptom," says the doctor, who immediately recommends the woman for a thorough psychiatric assessment.

thumb_up thumb_down -100

your mama is so stupid i believe she will have a difficult time finding employment in these rough economic times

thumb_up thumb_down +45

What did the woman say to her husband after he came home from a late night of drinking? Nothing, because the last time she did, she got her ass beat.

thumb_up thumb_down +43

why did aodhan not play BO2? Aodhan has Cerebral palsy.

thumb_up thumb_down +35

how much wood could a wood chuck chuck? 3

thumb_up thumb_down +33

why do black people like to play basketball steal shoot and run

thumb_up thumb_down +31

here's a joke a black man goes in a store and buy something

thumb_up thumb_down +31

A mother and father heard their young son sobbing in his room, so they ran upstairs to see what the problem was. When they got to his room, they found the older son was dead and hanging from the ceiling. And the younger son was actually laughing, not crying.

thumb_up thumb_down +27

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops