Burger King cashier: Are you on Team Jacob or Team Edward? Man: I'm on team I'm freaking hungry; now give me my food!

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Where do bananas come from? Mexico

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Why did the girls head explode while eating supper? There was a grenade in her food.

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Why was Jim fired from his job at the sperm bank? Continual absenteeism and inconsistent work.

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A blonde goes to the doctor and says, "Doctor, doctor, I feel like a pair of curtains!" "That is a worrying symptom," says the doctor, who immediately recommends the woman for a thorough psychiatric assessment.

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(Q) Why did the little boy cross the road? (A) To get to the police officer. (Q) Why did the little boy need the police officer? (A) because he was raped.

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what did the girl trapped in the fire say? help

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What did the lawyer get for Christmas? More paper work

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Knock, Knock The door's open

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A guy and a girl had sex, it was casual.

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Q: why did the boy cross the road A: because he was being chased by a pedophile

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your mama is so stupid i believe she will have a difficult time finding employment in these rough economic times

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Roses are Red, Violets are Blue, She gave me AIDS, and I gave 'em to you! <3 <3

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how much wood could a wood chuck chuck? 3

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What did the black man do with the woman's purse? Safely returned it to her

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An Irishman walks into a bar. He gets extremely drunk and gets hit by a train.

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Do you know the joke about the two guys who went to Paris ? Me neither.

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Why is it hard to fool an aborted fetus? Because it wasn't born yesterday.

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An Englishman, an Irishman and a Scottishman walk into a gay bar. And why shoudn't they.

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A dog walks into a bar, looks at the bartender, lifts its leg and pisses on a bar stool. What does the bartender do ? He chases the dog out the bar and gets a mop to mop up the piss.

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A seal walks into a club...

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Boom.

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how do you make a joke act like yourself

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Why did the aeroplane engine fallon the house? Because of Donnie Darko

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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