Why is it hard to fool an aborted fetus? Because it wasn't born yesterday.

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How could they tell Michael Jackson was dead? He showed no vital signs.

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Burger King cashier: Are you on Team Jacob or Team Edward? Man: I'm on team I'm freaking hungry; now give me my food!

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yo mama so dumb that we sat her down to take a standardized, comprehensive IQ test measuring spatial, logical, linguistic, and memorization abilities. Her aggregate score was an 87, indicated she is roughly one standard deviation below the mean of the population, which is not low enough to qualify for government assistance under the Americans with Disabilities Act (1990) but does impede her understanding of more complex abstract concepts and things pertaining to higher culture. In spite of this, she has raised a child of average intelligence, and has retained the same job at Walgreen's for 14 years, People seem to like her because she is polite and rarely late. Your mother is an inspiration to low-IQ people living in high-IQ developed countries, demonstrating that an inability to fully understand abstracts does necessarily lead to a life of meagerness and frustration, so long as you work hard, keep your spirits high, and accept Jesus Christ as your personal lord and savior.

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Why was Jim fired from his job at the sperm bank? Continual absenteeism and inconsistent work.

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What was the Alzheimer patient favorite drink? What was the Alzheimer patient favorite drink?

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what's blue and white and red all over? -nothing the "red all over" part implies a contradiction to blue and white.

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Why did the koala fall out of the tree? It was dead. Why did the second koala fall out of the tree? It was stapled to the first koala. Why did the man fall of his bike? He was struck with a falling koala. Why did the fish fall of its bike? Because it's a fish. What is fuzzy and might kill you if it falls on you? A pool table.

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why did aodhan not play BO2? Aodhan has Cerebral palsy.

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An Irishman walks into a bar. He gets extremely drunk and gets hit by a train.

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Q: What did the diddler say to the little boy? A: Can i touch you inappropriately?

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An Englishman, an Irishman and a Scottishman walk into a gay bar. And why shoudn't they.

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What do you call a man with no arms and legs swimming? Drowning.

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When life throws you lemons, duck because they freakin' hurt.

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how many indians does it take to screw in a light bulb? one if it can reach 2 if it's high.One to screw in the bulb the other to hold the ladder.

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Why did the fat man fall faster than the skinny man? He didn't. Masses does not affect the speed of falling objects. Everything with mass and volume falls with an acceleration of 9.81m/s^2 on Earth. Therefore the greater mass of the heavier man did not affect his falling speed. Both men fell at the same speed.

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the world flooded and everybody died how did they die? the all fell into lava!

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Why did the girls head explode while eating supper? There was a grenade in her food.

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"What's 'green', 'blue', and 'red' all over?" My color-blind friend said in confusion.

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whats the main reason Mexicans have legs? so they can stand.

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What's worse then biting into an apple and finding a worm in it? The spelling errors on anti-jokes.com

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What couldn't the Asian drive? Because he had just gotten laser eye surgery, and the doctor recommended that he didn't drive for a few days.

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What's 6 inches long, held in your hand, and has a round tip? A pencil you pervert.

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A man walked into a bar and said ow.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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