Q: What did the diddler say to the little boy? A: Can i touch you inappropriately?

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How do you fit 100 babies in a bucket? put them in a blender. How do you get them out? potato chips.

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Q: What happens when your name is Gretchen Weiner? A: You can never make "fetch" happen.

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What has two legs and graduated from ninja school? Okyrin Sakajuru. He also went on to win two all city titles and roundhouse kick of the day, performed on a wild tiger. As time passes, he stops practicing and becomes a lethargic street criminal. He is eventually captured by local authorities and charged with the robberies and two counts of aggravated assault. Leaving his children behind to the system where they are neglected and depressed about their fathers situation. He makes bail after 3 months and opens a strip club for dwarfs but loses it all after not finding stripper poles that are dwarf friendly.

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A horse walks into a bar.. Several people get up and leave as they see the potential danger in the situation..

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whats worse than finding 30 babies nailed to 30 trees? finding coal in your stocking at christmas.

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What did the little crippled boy get for his birthday? He's an orphan so he doesn't know his birthday.

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What kind of cookies does a pedophile order from the girl scouts? Samoas...pedophiles love coconut.

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Why did the little girl fall off the swing? Because she had no arms

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Bobby got a new bike there are black kids in bobby's neighborhood bobby doesnt have a new bike anymore

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What does a mama bear on the pill have in common with the world series? No Cubs!

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whats worse than 10 babies in a mail box 1 baby in 10 mail boxes

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Q. What's silver and cries? A. Someone who's been stabbed while wearing a suit of armour.

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my bubbles!

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Knock, Knock Who is there? Yo Yo who? *the man ran away and was never seen again, because he had nowhere to stay*

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How do wake up Lady Gaga You Poker her face

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A horse walks into a bar. The bartender says "why the long face?" The owner of the horse then explains the evolution of the species and genetics. The bartender, satisfied, serves the owner a drink and gladly gives the horse water.

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What do you call a black pilot? A pilot.

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Why was the gorilla crying? His brother died

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What is the best way to avoid wrinkles as you age? Moisturise with a good quality moisturiser, use high factor suncream on the face, get plenty of sleep, drink plenty of fluids, wear a hat and sunglasses and stay in the shade between 11am and 3pm, and try to eat a diet that is heart-healthy (for example, wholegrain, oily fish, and/or flax seed), as heart failure over a long time leads to sagging skin with a loss of elasticity.

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Why did the woman keep getting sexually harassed while calling for her lost dog? Her dog is named "Ilovedicks."

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A man walks into a bar and asks the bartender for 4 beers. The bartender replies, "One at a time, mate, will that work for you?" To which the man replies, "No", leaves, and drives his 1994 Toyota Corolla off of the road into the pit of a volcano.

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"What's 'green', 'blue', and 'red' all over?" My color-blind friend said in confusion.

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guy 1... "do you no any funny jokes?" guy2 ..."no" guy1 ..."same"

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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