What do you call something you should prepare yourself for when having sex with a prostitute? A.I.D.S

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Why did the cookie go to the hospital? Leukemia

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What's the difference between a cat and a dog? Vast. While they are both mammals belonging to the order Carnivora, and therefore have a loose evolutionary connection, dogs belong to the Carnidae family and cats belong to the Felidae family. There would need to be much biological research done to discover all of the differences that result from this.

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What did Jesus say when he was nailed to the cross? AHHHH WHY ARE YOU DOING THIS!?!?!? MY HAND!!! MY HAND!!! AHHHHHHH!!!!! JUST KILL ME!!! PLEASE WHY ARE YOU DOING THIS?!?! MY OTHER HAND AHHHH!!! HAHAAAAAAAAAaaaa..... AHHHHHHH WHY?!?! MY LEG!!!! MY FOOT NO!!!!! PLEASE!!!!! Ah AH AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHAA HAHAHAaaa WHYYYYYYYYY!?

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Why did the girl fall off the couch? She had a seizure.

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Whats better than pizza? Pepperoni pizza, if you like pepperoni that is.

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Which came first the egg or the chicken? The chicken because eggs can't cross the road

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what did batman tell robin before they got into the batmobile? -let's get in the batmobile!

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A horse walks into a bar and the bartender says "why the long face." the horse says "my wife has terminal cancer."

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Why was the man sad after mowing is lawn? He ran over his dog.

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A horse walks into a bar and the bartender asks "why the long face?". The horse doesn't reply because horse can't talk.

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why did aodhan not play BO2? Aodhan has Cerebral palsy.

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Why did the girl drop her lollipop? She got hit by a truck

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What did John F. Kennedy say to Kurt Cobain? Nothing. They never met.

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A: Knock knock! B: A: Guess no one's home.

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Whats the difference between a circle and a peace sign? Three lines!

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Caitlyn.

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Johnny has 30 pints of ice cream. He eats 25 pints. What does Johnny have? Diabetes. Johnny has diabetes.

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Burger King cashier: Are you on Team Jacob or Team Edward? Man: I'm on team I'm freaking hungry; now give me my food!

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There are stars in the sky when it's dark. You may have noticed I used a contraction in the previous sentence.

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whats worse than ten dead babies in one trashcan? one dead baby in ten trashcans

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What's red and spins real fast? Not a dead baby in a blender, babies can't fit in there. Unless of course you dismember them. but that's obsurd. . . Kinda

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You know whats funny? Things that aren't listed here.

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A guy and a girl had sex, it was casual.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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