whats brown, lying in a ditch, and is covered in cookie crumbs? a girl scout that got hit by a truck

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Q: What did the first kid say to the second kid before he handed him a pencil? A: May I have a pencil?

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What do you call something that comes out of a llama's butt? poop

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What's the difference between a bird and a horse? - Both can fly, exept the horse.

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What's brown and smells Iike crap? My brother he doesn't shower and is Hispanic

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Why did the monkey fall from the tree? Gravitational force acted upon the monkey who was not holding on to any branch.

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A Man goes into a watch store. Why? To buy a watch

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Knock, Knock Who is there? Yo Yo who? *the man ran away and was never seen again, because he had nowhere to stay*

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Why did the beach ball pop? Because it stepped on a sharp chocolate chip cookie!

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Q: What happens when your name is Gretchen Weiner? A: You can never make "fetch" happen.

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Why did lil yazzy watch The Hills at 12:40 in the morning? Because she was casually surfing netflix and clicked on it.

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Why are you asleep? Because I'm tired.

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YO MOMMA SO FAT... that it is really beginning to be an issue.

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What did the tractor say to the cow? I'm a tractor, you're a cow, go figure.

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What is the best way to avoid wrinkles as you age? Moisturise with a good quality moisturiser, use high factor suncream on the face, get plenty of sleep, drink plenty of fluids, wear a hat and sunglasses and stay in the shade between 11am and 3pm, and try to eat a diet that is heart-healthy (for example, wholegrain, oily fish, and/or flax seed), as heart failure over a long time leads to sagging skin with a loss of elasticity.

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Why did the girls head explode while eating supper? There was a grenade in her food.

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Knock Knock Who's there? Doctor. Doctor who? What? No? I'm here to inform you that your child won't be coming out of that coma, I'm sorry.

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go stand in a mirror look at your face that is the joke. 8- now go tell someone you will tell them a joke and do that to them this will be a fast spreading joke. jkjk this joke is so bad everybody give this alot of bad thums. ha ha i do not care

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why did aodhan not play BO2? Aodhan has Cerebral palsy.

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Knock knock. Who's there? Your doorbell is broken.

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A horse walks into a bar. The owner immediately seeks out the owner of the misplaced obstruction and asks them to remove it promptly less his animal suffers any more untoward damage

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Why couldn't the old man play the piano? His arthritis caused him great pain.

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What do you call a horse with no eyes? A horse with no eyes.

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SNAPPLE!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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