What makes women so mystifying and beautiful? Tits.

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I like my coffee like i like my woman, Without a penis.

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What's the difference between an old man and a child? The old man is older than the child

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Why did the old lady start crying? Because her daughter was raped and killed.

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how many blondes does it take to fix a lightbulb? 764,983,792,545,653,

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Q:I finished my Homework A:thats what she said

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What did the boy who succsesfully came out of liposection get? Diobeeties.

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What's red, blue, green, yellow, pink, purple, orange, teal, light green, brown, black and white? Colours, except for black and white, for they are the absence and amalgam of all colours, respectively.

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Roses are Red, Violets are Blue, She gave me AIDS, and I gave 'em to you! <3 <3

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how did the bloop cross the road? to get to the other side

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A sheep goes up to to a horse and asks "Does you speak sheep?".The horse replies ''Neigh''.

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what's the difference between a duck? one leg is the same.

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(insert antijoke here

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How did Hellen Keller's parents punish her? They sent her to her room.

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i said wut wut in the butt!

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A man walks into a bar and says "Hi everybody, it's me!" So everybody turns round. But it wasn't him.

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A sphere rolls around the corner and falls over.

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What's the difference between a box of dead babies and a Lamborghini? I don't have a Lamborghini in my garage

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When life gets you down, make a comforter.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Some poems rhyme, Others don't.

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Why did the dog cross the road? He was on a walk with his owner so they used a crosswalk to safely get back home.

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read down and see what it is like BEFOR MARRIAGE boy:at last.i can hardly wait! girl:do you want to leave me? boy:NO! dont even think about it! girl:do you love me? boy:ofcourse! always girl:have you ever cheated on me? boy:NO! why are you even asking? girl:will you kiss me ? boy:every chance i get! girl:will you hit me ? boy:hell no! are you crazy ? girl:can i trust you? boy:yes! girl:darling!! read up again and see what it is like AFTER MARRIAGE (L.W)

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What happened when a myriad people decided to partake in a large party while staying in a small room? They managed to make a compromise. The party got split into two groups: 50% of the original total in each casual confinement. In the end, everybody had a great time and nobody got hurt.

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roses are red violets are blue some poems rhyme this one doesn't

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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