What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding two worms in your apple.

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Wat do you do when you see aomeone bleeding on the ground? Walk away and act like nothing happened

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Your mom smells so bad that she proceeded to take a shower and then didnt smell bad at all.

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Knock, knock. Who's there? John. Oh, hey! Come in.

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What do you call cheese that isn't yours? Cheese.

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America Votes

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What do you call an animal who is purple and feeds on grass? Well his name is Timmy, he is a 6 year old boy and has been diagnosed with a rare deadly disease that turns his skin purple and has removed him so far from reality that he has begin to feed on his front lawn.

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Your mother is so dumb. It's a good thing she knows sign language.

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The pope and three young boys get into a cab. The pope tells the driver to take the boys home.

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What do you call a boy that fell off a ferry? Extremely unlucky, since one of the other passengers noticed and the captain turned the ferry around, threw him a ladder, and pulled him aboard. Also he died of hepatitis because his mother was too poor to afford condoms, so he was born with it.

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What is black, white and red all over? A nun in a blender

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What cheese is not yours? The one that you didn't buy.

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Dick Chaney

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What do you call a black person who drives a plane? A pilot.

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How many republicans does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Typically only one, though more may be required under extreme conditions.

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Why can't Jay cut his hair? Because he has AIDS

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Your mama's so fat, she gets confused with Santa Claus.

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Why wouldnt NASA send a blackman into space without a space suit? Because space is a vacuum there is no air no atmosphere the tempurature is almost zero kelvin so if you ever go out int space please dont take off your helmet out there because you would freeze to death almost instantaniously.

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a man walks into a bar he is an alcohol and it's ruining his family

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? 1. Discovering your "girlfriend" is a man 2. The Holocaust 3. Being Raped 4. Being Raped by a Giant Scorpion-Panda Hybrid 5. Being Raped by a Giant Scorpion-Panda Hybrid who doesn't wear protection.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I'm a schizophrenic, And so am I.

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Yo mamma's so stupid, she dropped out of college.

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Jesus

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Did it hurt when you fell from heaven? Cause it looks like you landed on your face.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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