What is green and would kill you if it fell out of a tree and onto your head? A pool table.

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What happens when a japanese boy goes into a planet called Zypharecion which is 2000 light years away with 20% oxygen and 78% nitrogen and 2% of other earthly air elements and heats up a balloon enough that it explodes? He wont be at that planet because it does not exist and travelling at the speed of light has not been proven possible for humans.

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Where do farmers retire their used farm equipment? The tree in their backyard.

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Three nuns accidentally walked in to a bar and so they immediately went out.

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What's worse than women's rights? Actually, not much, because women throughout history suffered for too long the hardships of over dominant male figures and deserve the freedoms they have achieved today.

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What did the priest do when he noticed the young boy bent over picking up crayons he had dropped? He helped him pick them up

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Ask me if I'm a tree. Are you a tree? No.

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Knock, knock. Who's there? Butter. Butter who? Oh, um, sorry i forgot the rest...

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What do you get when you cross Chuck Norris with a Cheetah? A yellow Chuck Norris with black spots.

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What's 6 inches long, held in your hand, and has a round tip? A pencil you pervert.

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What did the duck say to the man? Nothing. Ducks cannot talk.

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What is the difference between a botlle of sun lotion and a Mexican? A bottle of sun lotion contains a lotion that protects your skin against the sun, and a Mexican is a person from Mexico.

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What did the woman say to her husband after he came home from a late night of drinking? Nothing, because the last time she did, she got her ass beat.

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The meme walks out of the bar.

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lebron

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Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a loaf of bread

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Where did Susie go during the bombing? Everywhere

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What do you call an animal who is purple and feeds on grass? Well his name is Timmy, he is a 6 year old boy and has been diagnosed with a rare deadly disease that turns his skin purple and has removed him so far from reality that he has begin to feed on his front lawn.

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What do you call a black man flying a plane? A pilot.

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Where do you find your quadriplegic dog? Right where you left it.

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what did luke say to darth vader? Can i borrow ur car please.

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You're momma's so fat, she's got high cholesterol.

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Whats the difference between a black man and a pizza? A pizza is an inanimate object, while a black man is a person. racist F.u.c.k.

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What's more stinky than a fart? More farts.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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