What couldn't the Asian drive? Because he had just gotten laser eye surgery, and the doctor recommended that he didn't drive for a few days.

thumb_up thumb_down +137

What is the difference between a botlle of sun lotion and a Mexican? A bottle of sun lotion contains a lotion that protects your skin against the sun, and a Mexican is a person from Mexico.

thumb_up thumb_down +65

What do birds need when they're sick? Medical attention

thumb_up thumb_down +39

What's worse than finding half a worm in your apple? Being cut in half by a human while you were trying to eat an apple

thumb_up thumb_down +31

Whats worse than contracting H.I.V.? nothing

thumb_up thumb_down +29

women's rights

thumb_up thumb_down +27

Knock Knock. who's there? It's me. you need to be specific...

thumb_up thumb_down +25

Know what's funny? Jokes.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

why did the girl smear penut butter on the road. To go with the trafic jam

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Why did the chicken cross the road? To escape the overwhelming feeling of self doubt created by an abusive drug addicted father which has left him seeking life threatening situations that should never befall a simple chicken.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

An Englishman, an Irishman and a Scottishman walk into a gay bar. And why shoudn't they.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Why was the boy sad? His friend stabbed him with a fork. Also, his mother died. Also, his dad raped him Also, he has a chode. And it really sucks when you have a chode.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

*insert lame joke stolen from the top 10 jokes and think it's original because I changed one word*

thumb_up thumb_down +3

pubic lice.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

There was a Mexican in a bomb shop ?

thumb_up thumb_down -1

You walk in to your room. 7 chickens on your bed.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

A rhinoceros walks into a bar. As it felt threatened by the presence of many humans, the rhino attacks and kills several people with the big horn on its nose.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Why did the black man perform well? Because he was a well trained musician by the name of Stevie Wonder.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Knock knock! Whos there? Me. Now open the door.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

How many women are in the world? a little over 3.2 billion because statistics show that there are roughly 51-52% females in the whole population of humans

thumb_up thumb_down -9

What do you call a man with no arms and no legs in the middle of the oceon? Dead in the water.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

Roses are red, violets are blue That's a fact.

thumb_up thumb_down -23

My dog has no nose." "How does it smell?" "Potato"

thumb_up thumb_down -25

Q: How did that man get two black eyes? A: He was born!

thumb_up thumb_down -29

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops