A man walks into a bar said man is escorted out of said bar said man may have died from a serious case of alcohol poisoning whilst in said bar he was escorted as dead people have trouble moving of their own accord experts discovered later that the man had actually been brutaly beaten by another man wielding a bar stool this shows that experts are not very smart

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Why did Sally fall of the Swing? Because she had no arms Knock knock Who's there Not Sally

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How do wake up Lady Gaga You Poker her face

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It's raining, it's pouring The old man is snoring He went to bed, he bumped his head Got a brain hemorrhage and died in his sleep.

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What rhymes with you? You.

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whats white and smells like black paint? nothing, white paint even though it is still paint has a slightly different smell due to the difference in dye colors used to make it

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Roses are red, violets are blue, why am i even talking to you?

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What's my name? I don't know u tell me.

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Roses are red Violets are purple I just got raped by a clown

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Why did the chess grandmaster lose his mind? Because he died of old age.

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What did the penguins get for Christmas? A hang-glider What did the polar bears get for Christmas? Death, The Holocaust, Global Warming, and all of Steven King's books.

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Why did the blond fall of the ladder? She had no arms.

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A: Knock knock. B: Who's there? A: Banana! B: Not you again..(slams door)

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What happened to the boy who fell off the swing? He got hurt.

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Why did the baby cross the road? cause it was stapled to the chicken.

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What did Helen Keller say to the priest? Nothing, she didn't know he was there.

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A priest and a bunch of boys are in a room. They are having choir practice.

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Why was the woman making a sandwhich in the kitchen? She was hungry.

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Why did the old woman put roller skates on her rocking chair? She had dementia.

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What did the guard say to the... I was going to finish this anti-joke but I took an arrow to the knee.

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What's worse than being gay? Dying in a gas chamber in the Holocaust.

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America Votes

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My wife's star sign was cancer and it's quite ironic how she died really... She was attacked by a giant crab.

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I need somebody to lean on... ...Because one of my legs was amputated after I was blown up on a mine field in afganistan.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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