A black, asian, and white guy jump off a building, who lands first? Well, according to newton's law of gravitation every massive particle in the universe attracts every other massive particle with a force that is directly proportional to the product of their masses and inversely proportional to the square of the distance between them. It depends on who weighs the most

What are corpses favorite form of entertainment? nothing, there dead.

Roses are red It's 4 in the morning I have full blown aids I'm going to bed now, this is boring

Why did the chess grandmaster lose his mind? Because he died of old age.

What do you call a dinosaur when it gets out of a pool? Wet.

What makes Stephen Hawking such a lame scientist??? A: he has a disabling disease. It's called ALS.

What's worse then biting into an apple and finding a worm in it? The spelling errors on anti-jokes.com

What did the phone say to the telephone? I can't connect with you.

What's the difference between a prostitute and a cherry red Ferrari? A cherry red Ferrari isn't in my garage.

A kitten walks into a bar and orders a saucer of milk. Everyone enjoys the novelty of his presence.

A wolf boards a plane with two dead rabbits in his mouth. The flight attendant approaches him and says, "Sir, you can only have one of those on the plane." The wolf bites her throat out.

how do you stop a baby crying hit it with a brick.

Why was the woman making a sandwhich in the kitchen? She was hungry.

Three nuns walk into a bar. They realize they are in a place they don't want to be, so they leave, casting furtive glances around, fearing that someone from their congregation will see them and think they went in to drink.

Knock knock Who's there? Timmy Timmy who? Timmy Smith

-Knock Knock -Who's there? -.......

It's easy to take part, just type your text below!

Why did the fly get off the toilet? It got pissed off.

My wife's star sign was cancer and it's quite ironic how she died really... She was attacked by a giant crab.

Where did Susie go during the bombing? Everywhere

Why was the Jewish man put to death? Because he was convicted by a jury of his peers in a fair trial overseen by a judge in good standing in a United States court for 12 counts of homicide

Q: why did Helen Keller's dog kill himself? A: Because he couldn't stand to see his owner suffer through blindness and deafness and being the butt of hundreds of offensive and hurtful jokes.

Ice cream You scream We all scream Because there is a murderer killing our friends

Whats orange and has stripes? - a tiger

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...