A quadrapeldgic walks no where

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What did the grass say to the human "Hey" The human then screams and runs to safety

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What did the girl get for her birthday? Nothing...cause she died

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What is the most attractive part of a woman's body? The part where she doesn't have a penis. I know, I know, the no-penis thing looks weird and strange, but hear me out. I think it's kind of cute and quirky. Like, oops, there's something that's supposed to be there, but isn't.

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Why'd the cat have one eye? It got kicked by a goat.

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What do you call a pig with no arms? A pig, pigs don't have arms

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Inquiry: After the specially hired detective in shades of black had managed to finish his secret investigation of the crime scene, what significant affair did he demand and expect to subsequently occur next in the logical chain of events? Answer: A specific transaction of money. To elaborate, immediate providance of previously allotted recompense in the particular configuration of myriad pristine wads of cash.

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How did the fat man die? Someone who was mad at society shot him and many others in the head while at the workplace.

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what did the little girl do after drinking a smoothie? she choked and died a painful death.

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What is green and has wheels? Grass. I lied about the wheels.

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What did Tarzan say when he took out his knife? I took out my knife.

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Did you hear the one about the priest, the rabbi, the astronaut, the olympic diver, the mcdonald's employee, and the web designer? Neither did I...

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I used to be an Adventurer like you... But then I decided that it was a dangerous form of employment and stopped.

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Knock knock whose there? i have a warrant, i excpect you to come out peacefully with you hands behind you back

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i'm a loser with body odor.. plus i play pokemon to pass the time because reality is just to horrible to face. guess who? josh wood.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I'm a schizophrenic, And so am I.

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Jesus

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A guy walks into a bar and says, "Ouch!"

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Why don't women wear watches? In the technologically advanced age that we live in, the watch is rapidly being replaced with other electronic devices that tell time, such as cell phones or iPods.

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A black, asian, and white guy jump off a building, who lands first? Well, according to newton's law of gravitation every massive particle in the universe attracts every other massive particle with a force that is directly proportional to the product of their masses and inversely proportional to the square of the distance between them. It depends on who weighs the most

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? The Holocaust.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue. I'm a schizophrenic, And so am I.

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What's worse than a black President... George W Bush

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Why was little timmy's arm crooked His mom tried to pull his arm off.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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