What happened after the man with no arms and legs lost his keys? He called the police.

what do you call a pie in a roll a roll and pie

What the difference between some stoned and someone drunk? When your drunk you think having a good time even when you not and when you stoned your so high you think your a dragon ball z character.

What's worse than finding a dead baby in a trash can? -Finding a dead baby in 5 trash cans

What do a plum and a rabbit have in common? Their both purple. except for the rabbit

What do you call a bunch of white people walking down a cliff? Avalanche

why couldnt the baby walk through the door? because it had a javeline through its head.

Why did the Chinese Arab buy blue paint? He already had red in his basement.

Why didn't Rosa Parks get her fat black ass up? Because she was an avid partier and had anal with roughly 8 different guys the night before.

Yo Mama just died.

Tommy got neutered.

2 men walk into a bar. 3 come out

what did the bartender say to the customer? a. is it the first option b. is it the second option c. is it the third option.

If you play The Binding of Isaac backwards, it's about a boy who summons Satan in hell and ascends multiple floors and eventually revives him mom by sucking in tears. He eventually becomes less of a monster until going back to his home and living hapily with his mother, completely forgetting anything had ever happened.

What did Hitler say when he was dying? He said, "I'm dying."

What do you call an African-American, Latino, Asian, and Canadian all on the same football team? A reasonably diverse group of teammates who are most likely good acquaintances.

What do you call a woman that is on her period? -A girl that is expirencing a difficult to control flow of blood through the clitorus.

You know what it means when a priest lays his watch down on a podium? Absolutely nothing

What's worse than a worm in your apple? Thats a matter of opinion

A blonde went to a hair dresser's one day, listening to a walkman. The hair dresser asked her what she wanted, and the blonde replied, "I need to get my hair trimmed, just make sure that you do not take these headphones off." The woman looked at the blonde, surprised, but did as she was told. While she was brushing the blonde's hair, she accidentally bumped the headphones, knocking them to the ground. As she bent down to pick them up, the blonde fell over, onto the floor. The hair dresser was very confused. She picked up the head phones and listened. This is what she heard..."breath in...breath out...breath in...breath out..."!

What's the difference between michael jackson and casey anthony? Michael jackson's dead.

What's ugly and has shit smeared over its teeth? Smelly McD (He also wears bin bag clothes)

guess what the clown said to the kid... im a clown

Q:why did the man jump of the house A:he did not I threw a frige at him

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...